


The course of true love never did run smooth

by Mondaycoupleforever



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:47:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mondaycoupleforever/pseuds/Mondaycoupleforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke gets attacked as she’s walking alone in the middle of an empty parking lot. A stranger comes to her rescue, only to turn out to be a guy from her high school that has always despised her. Despite their mutual loathing, she takes him back home, to clean up his injured arm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rescue me

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is dedicated to FanGirl 54 who planted the idea in my head a few weeks ago, it took me a while to fully develop it, but for once I have a plan coming into it, the story should be around 12-13 chapter.  
> The summary for the story is basically meant just for chapter 1, I didn’t want to give too much away as to where the story is going.

It was a typically Friday night, I had spent most of the night at the library prepping for my first day back at school. Senior year was very important to me, and I wanted to make sure I was all refreshed on my subjects before school started. Getting into medical school was hard enough; I couldn’t let myself start slaking now. Plus it was always a good excuse to get out of the house. My relationship with my mother had further deteriorated since my father passed away from a car accident last year. He was the glue that held our family together, so without him around my mother and I fought all the time. She was always pushing me to be the best at everything and never hid that she wanted me to follow in her footsteps and become a doctor. Before my father was around to smooth out some of the tensions and made sure I understood it was my life and my choice to make, that he would be proud of me no matter what I decided to do with my life. 

Now that he was gone, I felt the need to prove myself worthy to the only parent I had left. I didn’t dislike the idea of becoming a doctor; the idea of being able to help people was very appealing. When I told my mother, she was ecstatic and it help mend the bridge between us. However, the peace didn’t last very long, she kept pushing me to do better in order to make sure I would get into the best colleges and I started to wonder if anything I every did was enough. 

I was driving home when I passed in front of the local supermarket, remembering I needed to take money out for my monthly trip to the art gallery I stopped in order to use the ATM. It wasn’t your typically high-end gallery, this hipster guy in his late sixties ran, but he always had the most interesting and original art pieces painted by local artist. I always returned home full of inspirations. In order to make sure the artists would get the most out of their work, since most of them were struggling to make it in the industry, he made sure clients paid cash. I always found one or two pieces that suited my personal taste and liked to come prepared.

Which is why at 11 o’clock at night I was currently walking alone in a parking lot from the ATM to my car, for someone supposedly as smart as me, I was being very stupid. I froze when I heard movement behind me, hoping it was just my overly active imagination I continued walking, almost sprinting to my car. But I was wrong the threat was very real, I had barely made five steps that I was being yanked from behind, coming face to face with a man hiding behind a hood with a knife in his hands. 

‘Don’t scream just give me the money and I’ll be on my way.’ His voice was extremely menacing and I didn’t doubt for a minute that he would have no problem hurting me in order to get what he wanted. 

I quickly took my wallet out and handed it to him, however that didn’t seem to satisfy him. 

‘Is that all you have of value, let me take a closer look at you.’ He took a step towards me as I took one back. ‘That’s a very expensive looking necklace you have there, hand it over.’ I instantly grabbed my heart pendent in a protective grasp. I wasn’t one to be overly attached to my material possessions, but this was the last gift my father had given me and I could not part with it. He must have notice I was going to put up a fight for this, because he raised his weapon coming closer to me. 

I hadn’t heard him coming, so focused on the knife, but someone appeared from behind the man twisting his arm and pulling him away from me. The thief wasn’t giving up and tried to fight him off, even managing to thrust his knife towards him. The stranger moved out of the way but it still grazed his shoulder, at the sight of blood I finally regained my senses. I took my phone out and started taking picture of the hooded man, the flash made him move his attention from the stranger back to me, but for some reason I felt much braver now. Using the fact that I was distracting him, the stranger finally took the upper hand shoving him fiercely, which lead him to drop the knife and my wallet on the ground. Realizing he wasn’t going to win, he took off. Relief flooded through my body, as I approached my savior in order to thank him. It was still pretty dark, so I used the light from my phone to properly see his face. Of all the people in the world, he would have been the last person I would have expected to come to my rescue. 

‘Bellamy Blake!’

‘Princess, fancy seeing you here, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?’ Surprise was evident on his face when he realized I was the person he just saved, but his voice was neutral and devoid of it when he spoke to me. I still cringed at the nickname every time I heard him use it over the past 3 years. You see my father had fought my mother to send me to public school, he believed it would be better to toughen me up, he feared in the private environment I wouldn’t face the same struggles that would be beneficial to build my character. He had been right of course; coming from a more wealthy background I didn’t really fit in and didn’t have any real friends. It made the day-to-day life at school a little boring, but this allowed me to really focus on my studies, which in the end pleased my mother. I was never bullied to an extreme degree, I was mostly ignored, except for Bellamy, who from the first day of high school seemed to take pleasure in calling out my social status every time he saw me, princess, that’s what he would call me.

‘I could ask you the same question.’

‘You could but I probably wouldn’t answer.’ He bend down to pick up my stuff, he hesitated for a moment before also picking up the knife. Once he returned my wallet he walked over to a trashcan to dispose of it, pausing there for a minute as well.

‘Maybe you should keep this and give it to the cops when they show up.’ The cops, right, I should probably call them, not that they would ever find the guy I hadn’t had a good look at him in the dark and I doubted Bellamy had. 

‘Just throw it out, I’m just going to go home, it’s been a long day.’ The surprise was back on his face, as he disposed of the weapon, after using his shirt to wipe the side he had touched. Smart move, who knew if any crime had been committed with the weapon, the fact that Bellamy had thought of it made me shudder a little. He did have a reputation for a being a bad boy, who knows where he had learned to cover his tracks. 

‘The great and mighty princess is not calling in the law after being attacked, I’m surprised.’ I didn’t really owe him an explanation, but the words were coming out of my mouth before I could stop them.

‘My mother’s at work, they’ll probably have to call her and I don’t want to interrupt her surgery. Plus the last time she was called in the middle of the night it was when my dad had his accident, so I don’t want her to relive that moment.’

Bellamy’s face softened.

‘I heard about that, I’m sorry about what happened.’

‘Thanks for saying that.’ Wow, I couldn’t believe it I was actually having a civil conversation with my worst enemy. His gaze was so intense as he looked at me that my eyes fell from his face, and back to the cut on his arm, his sleeves was now covered in blood.

I rushed to his side to investigate the wound.

‘It’s nothing Clarke I’m fine, trust me I’ve had worst.’ It was the first time he used my name, and I couldn’t deny I loved the way it just rolled off his tongue. 

‘Bellamy you saved me tonight and got injured in the process, just humor me please. Take off your shirt so I can see.’

He relented; I tried my best not to stare at his chest as I focused on his injury. He was right it wasn’t bad, no stitches would be required but it still needed to be bandaged. 

‘Let me take you home, I’ll clean it for you.’

‘Clarke it’s fine.’

‘It’s this or I’m dragging you to the hospital.’ He huffed and puffed for a good two minutes before agreeing to come with me. In the meantime I ripped a piece of his shirt so I could stop the bleeding.

‘Hey I loved that shirt.’

‘Stop being a baby it was ruined anyway, now get in the car before I dragged you over.’ He smirked. 

‘As if you could.’ Despite him knowing I would be physically unable to force him to come with me, he still followed me to my car.

The drive to my place was pretty quiet, I did realzse that I never actually thanked him for coming to my rescue, so I immediately corrected the situation.

‘Thank you, you know for saving me.’

‘Your welcomed, but if I had known princess that it was you perhaps I would have reconsidered. Never pictured myself as the knight in shinning armor before.’ It was evident from his tone that he was only joking, no matter his faults Bellamy was not the type of person to let someone, even a stranger, get attacked and not intervene. I suspected he was that way because of his sister, that if she was ever in need of help that a kind stranger would be there to help her out, like he had done for me. 

When we arrived at my house I noticed his body stiffen a little, if I was being honest I always found it to be too big for three people, so I could only imagine for Bellamy it was a huge reminder of our social differences. To his credit he didn’t say anything and followed me in. I told him to wait for me in the kitchen as I got the first aid kit, when I returned he was looking at our family portrait on the wall.  
My mother had insisted that we have it taken, and both my father and I were really reluctant, now I was really glad that we had. It was a couple of months before the fighting about college and my future began, the last time I remember being truly happy. 

‘Here take a seat.’ The bleeding had stopped which was a good sign and confirmed that the injury was superficial. I took great care while disinfecting it, since the knife could have previously come into contact with something that could lead to an infection.

‘Make sure to change the bandage once a day until it begins to scar, but let it breath during the night. If you notice any redness or liquid coming out of it, please go get it checked out at a hospital it could mean that it’s infected.’

‘Aye Aye princess.’ I looked up and he was gazing down at me, watching me work. Their was a tenderness in his eyes that I had never noticed before, I’m not entirely sure who moved first, but as a lower my gaze towards his lips I felt myself moving forward just as he leaned down towards me.

The kiss was intense, it was obvious that Bellamy had a lot of practice doing this; in a matter of seconds he got me to grant his tongue access. I wasn’t complaining the sensation was overwhelming and I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped me. This seemed to urge Bellamy on, he got up never breaking contact with my lips and backed me up towards the counter where he proceeded to lift me up so our height were more evenly matched. 

I felt his fingers linger at the edge of my shirt, waiting for me to grant him permission to keep going, this stunned me, I didn’t take him as the type of guy to wait for a girl to say yes. Rather I would have expected him to continue until I said no. I curved my back towards him as a sign that I was willing. His hands lingered on my hips tracing circles on my skin before he made his way up at a painfully slow pace until his fingers grazed through my bra my erected nipples. 

I wasn’t a virgin, having lost it to my best friend when we were both sixteen, but it had been a rational decision on my part rather than a passion driven one. I figured if I got it over with someone I cared about it would be less awkward and I would be more prepared for my first time with my future boyfriend. It was in moments like those that I hated how similar I was to my mother, always thinking in a practical way instead of listening to my instincts. It had been a nice moment, but the lack of chemistry on my part made it difficult to really get into it. Later I found out that Wells wasn’t in it for the same reasons I was, he actually had feelings for me and when those came to light we were unable to reconcile our friendship. He wanted more and I couldn’t give it to him.

But this with Bellamy was on a whole new level, I could feel ever inch of my skin screaming for his touch, and he did not deny me. We eventually had to pull apart, the need for air becoming too great. His eyes were filled with lust, which probably reflected my own. I knew how Bellamy worked when it came to girls, he slept with them once and the next day it came out these girls had gotten his stamp of approval. Which lead them to become sought out by the rest of the boys in school. The whole thing was extremely particular to me, but Bellamy was the king of ark high, and everyone wanted to be him or be with him. Which is probably the reason that his sister like me didn’t have any friends. Girls only wanted to talk to her in order to get close to her brother and the guys well they pretty much kept their distances, out of fear of what Bellamy would do to them if he found out. I was being foolish to even consider sleeping with him, but part of me doubted he would ever admit to it, so maybe I would be safe from any unwanted attention at school. 

I wanted him, I couldn’t deny it, and for once I wanted to ignore my rational self and just go with it. 

‘Let’s go upstairs.’ He raised one eyebrow at me, questioning if I really wanted this. As I reply I unbuttoned my shirt letting it fall to the floor, I walked away heading towards my bedroom, it did not take him long to follow after me. 

-:-

When I woke up in the morning I was surprised to find Bellamy still sleeping next to me, granted he was as far away from me as the bed allowed, but he had stayed. I had always assumed he was the sleep and dash kind of guy. The previous night had been phenomenal, Bellamy had giving me pleasures I didn’t even know were possible to experience, and I was quite proud that I was able to do the same do him if his moans and grunts were any indication. I would probably be sore all day from the way he was pounding into me, but it was well worth it. 

I glanced at the clock and straighten up in the bed as I realized that my mother would be home soon. 

‘Bellamy.’ I whispered, nudging him a little, which only lead him to turn further away from me. ‘Bellamy Blake wake up.’ I yelled this time, finally getting his attention. 

‘Morning princess, quite the wake up call you offer in your castle.’ 

‘Bellamy I’m serious my mom’s going to be here soon, and I’m pretty sure you would rather not come face to face with her.’ That got him to really wake up, he got up from the bed at the speed of light, gathering is clothing that was scattered all over the floor. I couldn’t help but giggled at the sight, the great Bellamy Blake afraid of my mother. 

Once he was fully dress and ready to go I realized this was it, on Monday when school started things would go back to normal and we would act as if this never happened. 

‘Clarke about last night.’

‘It’s fine no need to explain, I know how you operate, but I suspect you won’t be mentioning this to your friends, wouldn’t want to sully your reputation by saying you hooked up with the princess.’ I used the same tone he normally did when he used that nickname, it was after all an unchanging fact that I didn’t fit in with him not because of me, but because my family would always be richer than everybody else at that school.

Bellamy seemed to ponder my words a little before speaking again. 

‘Look to be honest when you brought me home last night that was the furthest thing from my mind, I won’t deny that you’re incredibly hot, but you know because of certain circumstances we could never really be anything.’

‘I told you Bellamy I know you don’t need to …’ He cut me off before I could finish.

‘But, I can’t say that I’ve ever, ever experience anything like last night.’

‘I’m confused what are you trying to say?’

‘I wouldn’t be opposed to this happening again, if you aren’t opposed to be keep a secret and of course don’t expect me to become your boyfriend.’

I was feeling a little smug Bellamy Blake known for one nightstands wanted a repeat performance with me. The question was did I? I couldn’t deny that sleeping with him again would be incredible, but these types of relationship never ended well.

I kept hearing my father voice in my head Clarke you need to enjoy life while you can. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t what he had in mind when he mentioned those words, but I couldn’t deny that he was right; I needed to enjoy my life a little.

‘Ok, I believe we have a deal, should we shake on it?’

‘Oh princess, you don’t shake on this kind of deal.’ As he was kissing me sealing our agreement I realized it was the first time he ever used that nickname in a way that made my heart melt a little.


	2. School's in session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally found a beta, actually she found me and she’s awesome. So a big thank you goes out to LuxeLisbon for looking over my work. Also thank you to everybody that reviewed my story or left a kudo.

I cursed Bellamy under my breath as I looked at myself in the mirror, I had never been this nervous to show my face at school as I was right now. I wanted to look good, but I didn’t want it to look like I was trying too hard. Which lead to a pile of discarded clothing on the floor, as I remained unsure of what they hell I was supposed to wear.

‘Clarke if you want me to drop you off at school we need to leave in ten.’ 

‘If you bought me a car, we wouldn’t have this problem every morning.’ I yelled back. 

‘Clarke we’ve talked about this, I don’t want to fight this morning, get your stuff and let’s go.’ Yes they had talked about it in length and her mother’s position hadn’t changed one bit especially since the accident. There wasn’t much I could do, since my mother refused to let me work so I could focus on my studies. So much for being a princess, I didn’t even have my own carriage. I couldn’t help but laugh at my own joke; Bellamy would have loved it.

God dammit, when did everything start revolving around him? Oh yes, since we slept together and I became absolutely addicted to his touch. 

The knee length skirt with my red V-neck that showed off my figure would have to do. I grabbed a quick breakfast and met my mother in the car she did not look pleased.

‘Is that what you’re going to wear?’

‘Yes, what’s wrong with my outfit.’

‘It looks like you’re going out to a club rather than school. I don’t have time to wait for you to get changed but tomorrow I would suggest you consider something more suitable. You don’t want to be attracting the wrong kind of attention, especially not at that school.’

‘Yes mother.’ I knew if I argued with her, it would lead to another talk about having me transfer into a private school, and that was not an option I wanted to consider, especially not now. 

The parking lot at school was already packed when she dropped me off; I made my way through the crowd of people, passing relatively unnoticed. I heard him laugh before I actually spotted him, he was siting on top of a picnic table with his closest friends. I recognized Murphy right away, sleazy bastard if I ever saw one. Miller was the nicest of the bunch, we weren’t friends but he was always kind to me anytime we had a class together. Of course he had his usual horde of girls hovering around him. I turned my eyes away, reminding myself that he wasn’t mine and I had no right to feel any animosity towards these women. I picked up speed as I passed in front of the group, hoping not to draw any attention. 

‘Hey princess, you’re looking nice today. Hoping to meet your prince charming, I’m afraid you came to the wrong place.’ The rest of the gang chuckled at his comment; I glared at them, narrowing my eyes at Bellamy. In all the years we’ve gone to school together he has always gone out of his way to taunt me, so it would be out of character for him not to say anything. However, it hurt more than I expected. I had prepared myself to be ignored, but was unprepared for this. 

I refused to react to his attack and simply walked away. Octavia was leaning in the doorway also glaring at her brother.

‘I’m sorry he’s a total ass.’ I looked at her wondering why we never became friends, maybe her brother had told her to stay away from me. It seemed we would get along really well.

‘Don’t worry, his words don’t really bother me.’

‘Sorry, I just assumed because you looked a little sad, sometimes I wonder how we could be related.’ I sent her an apologetic smile, wanting to get away from her as quick as possible. If she had been able to notice the sadness in my eyes I was afraid what else she would pick up on if I stuck around. I turned giving one last glance at Bellamy, who was looking at me and his sister with a confused look painted on his features.

I walked towards my first period of the day, chemistry, while praying that Bellamy wouldn’t be in any of my classes this year. When things went south, and part of me was convinced it would happen sooner than later, it might get awkward to be so close to him everyday. 

Unfortunately as soon as I sat down, at the back of the room, I saw him stroll in the class without a care in the world. None of his friends were with him, but Roma was following him closely. His eyes glanced around the classroom and stopped when he spotted me. He walked towards the back, taking the sit next to me as if it was an every day occurrence. 

‘Shouldn’t you be siting at the front of the class princess, aren’t you afraid you’re going to miss too much by hanging around at the back with us.’

‘That’s right go to the front with all the other goody two-shoes.’ Bellamy had a look of annoyance on his face at Roma’s interruption, but she was so focused on me that she didn’t notice anything.

‘I don’t know if I move who are you going to cheat off?’

‘Is that an open invitation?’

‘Maybe if you behave, I’ll consider it.’ I was trying not to smile, but the fact that Bellamy was openly flirting with me made that feat quite difficult. Roma of course, poor girl, was oblivious to the whole exchange. 

The class was boring, as the first class back normally is, a brief introduction to the syllabus and what would be expected of us over the course of year. The fact that Bellamy was so near and yet impossibly far, because I couldn’t reach out to touch him was maddening. During class he took a peek at my schedule, and noticed we also had history class together, but that wasn’t until tomorrow. He seemed happy with this discovery, which threw me off balance. Then again maybe he was pleased because that gave him more opportunities to annoy me. He seemed to get great pleasure from torturing me; I wouldn’t be surprised if he considered this to be foreplay. The rest of the morning continued to drag on, I wondered why they even made us go to class, it’s not like we were learning anything today. 

When lunch came around I was glad for the break, I didn’t mind school as long as I wasn’t wasting my time, and the first day same as the last were always the worst. The halls were empty as I made my way towards the cafeteria, I was starting to think that Bellamy had taken ninja classes over the summer, because once again I didn’t hear him approach, it wasn’t until he grabbed hold of my hand pulling me in the opposite direction of the cafeteria that I noticed him. 

‘Bellamy what the hell what happened to secrecy.’

‘Everybody’s at lunch calm down.’ We approached the janitor’s closet, as Bellamy took out a set of keys, unlocking the door. 

‘You have got to be kidding. How did you even get those keys.’

‘Trust me you don’t want to know. You know this is entirely your fault, you can’t come waltzing into school wearing that outfit and not expect me to want to jump you the second we get a minute alone.’

‘You’re ridiculous, we are not doing it in the janitor’s closet, I know your other conquests had looser morals, but this is where I draw the line.’

‘Come on princess, I’m not expecting that much, now come on in before someone sees us.’ I reluctantly entered hoping he was being honest about not taking it too far.

‘And for the record I’ve never brought anyone in here.’ 

I found that statement hard to believe but the look of innocence on his face almost had me convinced he might be telling the truth. 

As soon as he closed the door behind me his lips were on mine, and it finally felt like I was able to breath again. The whole school could be burning down I’m not sure I would noticed as long as I had Bellamy wrapped around me. He grabbed my ass and lifted me from the ground, shoving me against the door. True to his word he didn’t let his hand wander, and I found myself a little disappointed, so I moved my hips forwards hoping to form a little friction.

‘Fuck Clarke you’re making it very hard for me to behave right now. You’re no princess you’re the devil.’ I grinned at him; I loved that I could make him fall apart. He leaned his forehand against mine, trying to get his breathing under control. He gently put me back down on my feet. Holding my face in his hands and kissing me gently. 

‘So what did you and my sister talk about this morning?’

‘Why? Are you worried I’ll corrupt her?’ 

‘No, it was nice to see her talk to someone for a change.’

‘You know it’s your fault she so isolated.’ 

‘What do you mean?’

‘Really you don’t know? Any girl that tries to befriend her has ulterior motive, so Octavia seems to have decided to just ignore them all and do her own thing.’

‘How could you possibly know any of this?’

‘Because again mostly because of you I’m also isolated, so what else have I got to do then observe you all.’

‘Clarke, I know I’ve always been an ass towards you, I never took the time to get to know you and instead made a rash judgement about you based on your family. I still believe you don’t belong here, it’s just not your world, but I am sorry for being responsible for making it worst for you. And as for this morning, you know I didn’t have a choice.’ Bellamy seemed genuinely repentant for his previous actions.

‘I know if you hadn’t said anything it would have looked suspicious and we don’t want anybody finding out about us. I get it.’

‘But I was being truthful, you’re not going to find your prince charming here. That’s never going to be me, this is purely physical.’

‘If I wanted a prince charming I wouldn’t be here with you, I’ll settle for a dark knight for as long as I can get him.’

‘I can live with that.’ He gave me one last kiss before poking his head out to make sure the coast was clear before leading me out. 

‘I’ll catch you later princess.’ 

I was already getting in too deep and it had only been a day, if Bellamy kept being this gentle with me, I might forget how much of an ass he really is and actually fall for him. That man was trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you find the story to be a little fast pace it’s normal, the first few chapters are to set up the characters for the big plot of the story. Reviews are always appreciated.


	3. Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is Bellamy’s point of view, we’ll get a closer look at the reasons behind is initial hatred of Clarke and where his feelings currently stand.

Eight weeks, not that I was counting or anything, but eight weeks had passed since that first night, the night when everything changed. Looking back I still don’t understand what the hell I was thinking when I leaned down to kiss her, it was like an invisible force was pulling me towards her and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I hadn’t meant to get carried away; I had fully expected her to stop me before we got any further. Hell I had given her every opportunity to stop me, but when she invited me to go upstairs dropping her shirt on the floor as she walked away I knew there was no going back. 

I still couldn’t explain why sex with Clarke was so electric, maybe it was because she was this forbidden fruit that I knew I should stay away from but simply couldn’t. Or maybe it was because for years I had tortured her to hide the fact that she intimidated me. Despite being a total outcast she still always strived to be the best at everything she did and that intimidated the hell out of me, I couldn’t even get myself motivated enough to be good at one thing. 

That first night had been so intense I knew right away I would want more, so I left the door open, and Clarke surprised me by entering it with both feet first. I still couldn’t believe that the princess, my princess was sneaking around with me. She wasn’t as pure as I had always expected her to be, she also had a devilish side. As I got to know her I found out that she craved freedom from the expectation her mother had for her. But with me she got to be who she wanted to be without restrictions, and I realized that it was the same for me. She never judged me and accepted every part of me.

I found myself drawn to her more and more as the weeks passed. At first I tried to convince myself that it was just about the sex, anytime her mother had to work overnight I would get a text from her inviting me over for some sexy time as she liked to call it. She was a total dork when it came to sexual innuendos, an irresistible cute dork. I also managed to get her to visit the janitor closet a few more times, I had returned the keys only after making my very own copy, which came in handy when the uncontrollable urge to hold her over took me in the middle of the day. 

But things had started to change; I started seeking her out, just to talk. It started out innocently enough; I wanted advice on how to deal with Octavia and her current crush on Atom, a total loser in my opinion. Clarke had been very vocal on explaining to me how I was the reason why Octavia was so isolated in school, I had never realized it before and now I was trying really hard to change that. So, followings Clarke’s advice I let Atom know that if he was interested in my little sister he could ask her out on a proper date. I may have also threatened that if anything above a PG 13 movie rating were to happen on said date that I would crush his balls so hard that he would never be able to reproduce. A threat I conveniently forgot to mention to Clarke when she was telling me how proud she was that I was finally letting Octavia live a little.

It took Octavia a total of three dates to realize just how much of an idiot Atom was, and dump his ass. I was proud of her, and realized that my sister was actually pretty good at taking care of herself; I just had to give her the opportunity to do so. She still didn’t have any girlfriends, and part of me wanted to keep Clarke all to myself afraid of what might happened if I shared her, but I knew how great those two would be if they became friends.

But that would mean admitting to Octavia that something was going on with Clarke, when I was still trying really hard to deny it. 

‘Hey man, what’s up you seem like your actually thinking about something serious for a change.’

‘Shut up Murphy, we can’t all have an empty head like you.’

‘Ouch, what’s got your panties all in a twist?’

‘It’s probably because he hasn’t been getting any action lately. What’s happening Bellamy? Roma’s been practically throwing herself at you since the start of the year and you haven’t made a move yet.’ I was beginning to wonder when they would catch on to the fact that my pattern had completely changed, at this time last year I had already banged three girls and I was already on the prowl for my next conquest. Now all I could think about is what excuse I would use next time I needed to sneak out of the house to meet up with Clarke and was caught by Octavia. 

‘All the girls in the school are old news I need something new, something different.’ That wasn’t a total lie; they just didn’t need to know that I had already found it. I tuned them out as they started talking about whom they should ask to homecoming. I glanced around the room looking for Clarke, and spotted her in her usual spot eating alone in the corner of the cafeteria, I felt the pang of guilt deep in my stomach knowing if I hadn’t been such a dick when she started school here that she might have actually had a shot at making friends.

I had been so surprised that first day three years ago, everybody knew who Clarke was, there had been a picture of her family in the local newspaper a couple of years ago when her mother had saved the mayor’s life from a gunshot wound. I couldn’t understand what she was doing here, at this miserable excuse for a school when she probably not only had the money but also the brains to attend the top private schools in the country. The nickname had rolled off my tongue with no second thought to the consequences, and it turned out for her they were pretty bad. She was immediately branded an outcast, she didn’t belong and everybody knew it, but I had been the one to point it out and make it official. Clarke Griffin did not belong and anyone who associated with her would suffer the same fate. 

At the time it was my own personal revenge against the wealthy class that had always made my mother’s life a living hell. Cleaning for the wealthy wasn’t a glamorous job but it paid the bills she always told me, I hated them all for her, and Clarke just became a target for all the hatred I had had against people she probably didn’t even know. 

‘I don’t care she a total babe you can’t deny that.’

‘She could be the sexiest women alive there is no way I would ever associate with the bitch princess, no way.’ I was dragged out of my thoughts at the word princess. 

‘You mean there’s no way Clarke would ever associated with the likes of you she’s got too much taste.’ Shit, what was going on? Why were they discussing Clarke? 

‘Whatever, you can’t ask her to the dance without committing social suicide, right Bell?’ What? Miller liked Clarke how had I missed that.

‘Chill Murphy I didn’t say I was going to ask her, I just mentioned that she had grown into a pretty sexy chick.’ 

Clarke had mentioned Miller always being kind to her, while the rest of my goons, as she liked to call my friends, were all idiots and that I could do better. Maybe she would like to go to the dance with him, have an actual boyfriend instead of secretly sneaking around with me. What if I was keeping her away from something great, Miller was a great guy I’m sure he could make her happy. He was popular enough that maybe Clarke would be able to break out of her isolation. She could spend her last year of high school with actual friends; have a good time for a change. 

‘I mean be honest dude, you’re telling me if she offered herself up to you, you would politely decline just because she was born in the nicer side of town. I don’t care how rich her family is, if she putting out I will gladly taste those sweet lips.’

‘Nobody touches the princess, am I clear?’ I was pissed and I couldn’t understand why, but the idea of Miller hands on Clarke made my blood boil. I couldn’t believe she found him nice, he was probably only looking for a way to get in her pants, I couldn’t let that happen, she was mine. 

‘Of course Bell.’ Miller seemed a little afraid of me, good; he should be if he ever goes near her. I got worried that he would figure out the reasons behind my outburst, but luckily just as Clarke loved to point out my friends were idiots and they would never suspect the truth. 

‘Told you dude, social suicide, you can’t be seen friending Bellamy’s number one enemy.’ I grabbed the rest of my lunch and threw it in the trash; I had lost my appetite. 

What was happening to me? I had been worried that Clarke would end up getting too attached to me and make things all complicated when in reality I was the one that couldn’t get her out of my head. 

I needed some air, I was considering ditching for the rest of the day, but I had history with Clarke after lunch and it was the only subject I was actually acing and I loved the look she got on her face every time I got an answer before her. God I was so whipped it wasn’t even funny. 

‘Mister Blake fancy seeing you here and where exactly are you going?’ 

‘Principal Dante, I was just on my way out to go grab something out of my car.’ Even I could hear how lame my excuse was, no way was he going to buy it. 

‘Really Bellamy, do you think you should be skipping school when you’re failing half your classes. How do you do you expect to graduate if you keep up with this type of behaviour.’ I knew I was struggling to keep my grades above average, but I hadn’t actually considered the possibility that I might fail. 

‘You’re right, I’ll try harder thank you for the talk really, now I really must be on my way.’ I guess there was no escaping for the rest of the afternoon, as I turned the corner to make my way back into the cafeteria I collided with something. 

‘Clarke what the hell, are you ok?’

‘I’m fine, I probably shouldn’t have been standing there in the first place.’

‘What were you doing there, spying on me?’ I was only joking, but her face got red and she lowered her eyes in shame.

‘I didn’t meant too, I saw you leave and you looked upset I just wanted to make sure you were ok and I accidentally overheard your conversation with Dante. Is it true are you’re failing senior year?’ It was my turn to be ashamed; I couldn’t believe I had let my grades get this low. ‘Bell I know you’re not stupid, you just have to put some effort into it. Why didn’t you tell me? I can help.’ 

‘It’s fine Clarke don’t worry about it, you don’t owe me anything it’s not like you’re my girlfriend.’ Fuck, what was wrong with me today, things were great between us because we kept it simply and didn’t bring up this stuff. 

‘You’re right, I’m not your girlfriend, but I don’t need to be in order to care about you. I just wanted to help sorry if that idea is so offensive to you.’ 

‘Clarke, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.’ 

‘You didn’t. I am well aware of the rules of our arrangement don’t worry about me.’ She was walking away from me. Shit, could this day get any worse?

‘Clarke wait, please, I really didn’t mean it. I would love your help. Actually this might be the excuse I need to introduce you to Octavia without her asking too many questions. So, what do you say? Would you please be my private tutor?’


	4. New Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my amazing beta LuxeLisbon! Hope you enjoy chapter 4, I think many of you will be pleased that Clarke officially meets Octavia.

When Bellamy had accepted my help getting his grades back up I had assumed that he would use the “tutoring” as an excuse to get me naked. It was the perfect cover if his mother or sister were to show up unexpectedly to find me there. I was pleasantly surprised that first afternoon when I had showed up to find all his chemistry books opened and ready to be used. Despite his image as the uncaring jerk part of him wanted to succeed and make something of himself. 

The first time he had me over I could feel he was nervous. I wasn’t sure why he was so apprehensive, especially since he was normally so self-assured, but considering how much he had initially hated me for being rich I could venture a guess. Then again for all I knew his nerves could simply be the result of allowing me to enter a space that was so private to him. As he gave me the grand tour, we stayed away from his bedroom, which considering how we had a difficult time keeping our hands off each other was a wise decision. I was truly impressed by Bellamy’s mother for having had the strength to raise two kids on her own and provide for them. His apartment might be on the smaller side, but if felt more like a home than my own house had been since the accident. 

Three weeks had passed since he first asked me to tutor him and it was clear from the start that the reason Bellamy was failing was not because he was stupid, but rather because he had no motivation. He didn’t see the interest of learning the periodic table or being able to quote Shakespeare, but he was determine to graduate from high school. 

Studying cut into our sexy time, as I liked to refer to sex with Bellamy, but we still manage to make it work. Actually I found that removing a piece of clothing anytime Bellamy got a correct answer served as a great motivator as well as an amazing form of foreplay. Luckily his mother was never home and Octavia had signed up for some karate class at the local community center, so I still hadn’t officially been introduced as his tutor. 

Today he was in an especially good mood since we got back our most recent science quiz, which he managed to ace. He sent the biggest grin my way when Roma was distracted by her own results. Soon he wouldn’t need me anymore, as long as he managed to keep on track. I felt a little pang to my heart at that idea; it had been nice to spend some time with Bellamy while both of us were dressed. I was able to learn more about him, for one thing I finally figure out why he initially hated me so much. His mother was a house cleaner for some of the richer people in town. One of her clients were the Jahas, and I knew for a fact they were not very appreciative towards “the help”. 

Thankfully since our arrangement had begun Bellamy was less hostile towards me and rarely brought up money or my mother, which used to be his favorite topic to torture me with. It almost seemed at times that he might care for me, but I knew better than to get my hopes up. The more time I spent with Bellamy the more I realized that the image he portrayed at school wasn’t who he was behind closed doors. My heart ached for more, but after his mention a couple weeks ago; of the fact that I wasn’t his girlfriend and didn’t owe him anything he had been a little distant. So I pushed down my budding feelings and decided to just go with the flow. If all I was going to get was his touch, I was going to enjoy it until the day we would call quits on our arrangement. 

When Bellamy opened the door to let me in he had a devilish grin on his face, I didn’t think we would be getting much work done today. 

‘Princess.’ He greeted, closing the door behind me as I walked towards the small dinning area. 

‘Bellam…’ I didn’t have time to finish acknowledging him that his lips were already on mine swallowing the rest of his name. His kiss was slow, as he held my head between his hands. The exchange was so intense that my knees buckled under me, but before I could collapse he wrapped an arm around me lifting me onto the table. When we were both out of breath, he leaned his forehand against mine, looking me straight in the eyes as he thanked me.

‘I’m serious Clarke I couldn’t have done it without you, thank you.’ He was being honest and open and I realized just how easy it would be to fall in love with this Bellamy. 

‘You’re welcome, but you know you could have done it on our own, I just provided you with a little focus and motivation.’

‘Yes your motivation techniques are very effective, maybe we should go and motivate me in the bedroom.’ I was a little taken aback, we normally fooled around in the living room. He normally went out of his way to keep me out of his private quarters. I raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking him if he was sure, he didn’t reply only shrugging my question off as if this didn’t mean anything. I was about to press him further when the front door burst open and despite not being able to see her, we could hear Octavia grumbling about cancelled classes and useless teachers. 

I shoved Bellamy off me and grabbed my bag taking out a book and pencil in order for us to be able to maintain our cover as to why I here. Bellamy still hadn’t moved from the spot where I shoved him off when his sister entered the kitchen.

She paused when she noticed me, surprise evident on her features, she then turned to look at Bellamy who was still frozen in place.

‘Well there’s something I thought I’d never see, Clarke Griffin in my living room.’ Bellamy finally regained his senses, taking his sister’s attention away from me.

‘O, what are you doing home so early?’

‘My class got cancelled, but forget about me what’s going on here.’ Bellamy didn’t answer right away, pondering his words, but I was fairly certain I could guess what was going to come out of his mouth next; it’s not what you think she’s just been tutoring me, there is no way I would ever look at the princess that way. I didn’t want to hear him say that I was nothing to him, not today, not after he had been in such a good mood.

‘Don’t worry your brother hasn’t fallen from grace, I’m only here to tutor him, nothing more.’ I wasn’t sure if it was easier to hear him deny that something was going on or saying the words myself; realizing there was probably more truth in them than I wanted to admit. 

‘Bellamy’s getting tutored, I find that harder to believe than the idea of the two of you together.’ She was laughing with abandon and I finally noticed Bellamy relax. 

‘You better not repeat this to anyone at school, O, I’ve got a reputation to maintain.’

‘It’s not like I have anyone to tell, I’ll be in my room both you can resume whatever you were doing.’ I was about to let out a sigh of relief, when she turned around, not quite done with her interrogation. 

‘What does Clarke get out of this?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Well Bellamy clearly needs help with his grades, that much is obvious.’ Bellamy narrowed his eyes at his sister, but I wasn’t paying much attention to their interaction, Octavia was right I didn’t have a reason for being here. ‘But Clarke it’s not like you need the money, why are you helping him?’ 

‘Well isn’t it obvious she’s here for my body.’ I gawped at Bellamy, how could he tell her the truth so casually. He had been so insistent on keeping it a secret; I was surprised he would admit to it, especially to his sister. 

‘Please there is no way either of you would associate with each other unless you had no choice.’ Once again Bellamy proved how smart he actually was under all his layers of idiocy. Octavia didn’t suspect even for a second that he was actually telling the truth, well what he thought was the truth, I was helping him not because of the sex but rather because I actually cared whether he failed or not. ‘Clarke, is he threatening you?’

‘No!’ My outburst caused both Blake siblings to turn in my direction. ‘This is a mutual beneficial agreement.’ Bellamy sent me a worried glance probably wondering where I was going with this. ‘I needed to beef up my resume, you know for my college application, and well nobody talks to me so when I overheard that he was failing I saw that we could help each other.’ 

‘If he gives you any trouble you know where to find me.’ And just like that she was gone. Bellamy sat down next to me, taking out his books, disappointment evident on his face.

‘That went well don’t you think?’ He remained silent. ‘I thought you wanted us to become friends, why are you sulking?’ I started thinking that maybe he was having second thoughts. That having is sister find out about us, granted only a small portion of the truth, was making him regret associating with me. ‘She doesn’t suspect anything, we did good Bellamy, cheer up.’ 

‘I don’t care about Octavia finding out, we both knew it would happen eventually.’

‘Then what the hell, you’ve been acting weird since she showed up.’ 

‘It’s nothing; forget about it, let’s get back to studying.’ I tried to focus, but Bellamy’s mood didn’t improve, he got every answer I asked him wrong and was barely paying attention as I tried explaining to him the correct answer. We were clearly not going to get anywhere today, so without a word I started packing up. I understood that he didn’t owe me an in depth description of his feelings but I wasn’t about to sit here for the next hour and basically be ignored when I was trying to help him. 

He grabbed my wrist as I was getting up.

‘Clarke where are you going?’

‘Home, we can finish this another time when you’re done dealing with whatever is going through that brain of yours.’

‘Clarke, please stay, I’m sorry ok. I just wasn’t expected her and I had planned this thing forget about it. I’ll work harder just don’t go. ’ His voice was only a whisper, but that’s not why I decided to stay, he had a longing in his voice one that I’d never heard before.

I saw the tension leave his body as I sat back down. He was waiting for me to ask my next question, but I couldn’t too focused on his previous words.

‘What did you plan?’

‘What?’

‘You said you planned something, what did you mean by it?’ His eyes were panicked, whatever it was he had changed his mind about letting me in on it. His room, he had invited me in his room. Before I had time to second-guess myself I got up again, surprising Bellamy, and made a run for his room. When he realized what I was up to he tired to stop me but I was too fast and managed to open the door before he could restrain me. 

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured this. The first thing I noticed was how clean it was, I knew for a fact that Bellamy Blake was incapable of picking up after himself and yet the room before me was the picture of cleanliness. 

Second I noticed the small package on the bed, with a card lying on top of it. Bellamy ran into the room before I could take a closer look and snatch it from off his bed.

‘What’s that?’

‘Nothing.’ 

‘Is that for me?’ He blushed, Bellamy Blake, was blushing. 

‘Yes, but don’t get too excited it not much just a little thank you, you know for all your help.’ 

The card was generic, one he probably picked up at the store, but he had written a short note.

Thank you princess 

I unwrapped the small box, to find a beautiful charm bracelet inside. There were three charms on it, a crown and I could easily imagine the smirk on Bellamy’s face when he picked it out, the second charm was a book, the meaning behind it was unmistakable, it was the third one that left me a little perplexed. The gesture was bewildering enough, but the fact that the final charm was the letter B made me even more confused. 

‘Bellamy it’s beautiful.’

‘Like I said it’s nothing really, cheap quality nothing to go crazy over, but I wanted to get you something. It means a lot that you took the time to help me with all this school stuff. Thank you Clarke.’ He was shifting his weight back and forth between his feet, nervous. He wasn’t making it easy for me to remain indifferent to him; in fact I was beginning to fear that was an impossible task.

‘Why the B?’

‘They were out of C’s.’ I looked deep into his eyes trying to figure out if he was lying or not, but he gave nothing away. He helped me put it on, and dragged me back out into the living room so we could get some actual work done. 

Their mother called a little later, telling them she was going to be late and that they should order something. When Octavia came out of her room, Bellamy passed on the message and she invited me to stay over. As much as I had misjudged Bellamy, I’m ashamed to say I had done the same to Octavia. I had always assumed she was this quiet little girl, turns out she could be very sarcastic and loud when she wanted to be. Putting even the great Bellamy to shame, we got along really well, ganging up on him a few times. He didn’t get mad, instead he laughed along with us even if it was at his own expense. 

He drove me home that night, and we made out in his car as if we were a normal couple saying goodbye after a date.

‘Clarke, I don’t know what we’re doing anymore.’ Bellamy sighed out. 

‘Neither do I, but I can’t say that I don’t like it.’


	5. God dammit Clarke!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to my amazing beta for all her help. Thank you also to everybody that left a comment or kudo, you guys are amazing!!!

I was siting in the cafeteria, minding my own business like any other day, when Octavia sat down beside me. She didn't say a word as she started unpacking her lunch; acting like this was an every day occurrence. Her actions didn't go unnoticed, I could hear the people around us whispering and sending worried looks towards Bellamy. I also turned my attention towards him wondering if he was glaring at our table; however I only found Murphy and Miller looking towards us clearly discussing the situation. I was too far to be able to hear anything, but Bellamy's demeanour was completely relaxed unlike the rest of his friends. Her lunch unpacked she finally turned her attention to me.

'So, Clarke, now that it's just us girls do you want to tell me what's really going on with my brother or do I have to interrogate you until you crack?'

What the fuck! I hadn't spoken to her since dinner at Bellamy's and she had given away no sign of being on to us.

'What do you mean?'

'Clarke I'm not an idiot; first I've never seen my brother this happy before. Then out of the blue you show up at our place when he normally doesn't bring girls over. He tends to keep his conquests apart from his private life. And now he's hinting that the two of us would probably get along if we hung out. He would never push me towards associating with you unless he genuinely believed you were a good person. So I’ll ask again what is going on between the two of you?'

'You’re reading too much into this, we don't have a choice to meet at your place if he wants to keep the tutoring secret.' I was caught too off-guard by her line of questioning, it was probably written all over my face that I was trying to come up with an excuse.

'It's more than that, he could have found a tutor from another town, it didn’t have to be you, something _is_ going on. I mean look at him, I haven't seen him smile like that in a long time.' He did look happier than I'd ever seen, he looked incredibly relaxed and at ease, despite the entire cafeteria eyes being focused on his sister and well me.

'Please don't say anything.' I wanted to deny it, but Octavia knew her brother, the smartest thing was to come clean and hope she would keep it to herself.

'Oh my god, I was right he's totally falling for you.'

'Octavia what part of please don't say anything did you not understand.' I didn’t intend to sound angry with her, but panic sometimes pushes you to the edge.

'I'm sorry Clarke, but this is huge, my big brother finally found his match. I can't wait to rub it in his face.' I sent her a frightened look; it wasn't about people finding out, I was afraid Bellamy would run from what was happening between us if it got too real. And what could make it more real than his sister teasing him about a relationship. 'But I won't, I promise, not until you’re ready, both of you.'

'Octavia I know you're excited, but you need to understand we're not, I mean, I don't know how to explain what we are, but we're not in any kind of relationship, it's more physical than anything else if you catch my meaning.'

'Clarke you don't have to explain, I know my brother and it's going to take more than a pretty face to get him to abandon his womanizing ways, but  _trust me_ something's there. He might not be ready to admit it to himself, but it's there, just give him a chance ok, he needs someone like you to push him to be the best of who he can be.'

I pondered her words seconds while trying to secretly look up towards Bellamy, could she be right. Was it possible that despite our beginning we were heading towards something else? We hadn’t really talked about the possibilities since that night in the car when Bellamy admitted he wasn’t sure what we were doing anymore and I had admitted to liking the change in our relationship. He had looked at me with this huge grin on his face, clearly he wasn’t totally opposed to the change.

‘Plus the bracelet is a pretty big give away, just saying for someone trying to keep his relation with you on the down-low he’s throwing out pretty big signs that something happening.’ I looked down at my charm bracelet gently caressing the letter B. Bellamy still refused to comment on his choice.

‘He denied it had any meaning.’

‘He wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of picking out a bracelet, with two specific charms meant just for you, I mean the crown is a dead give away, only to settle for a third one void of meaning. Trust me, even if his not telling anyone about the two of you that B is marking you as his. His claiming you Clarke and probably still trying to deny that he has feelings.’

‘How does any of that make any sense, he either likes me or not.’

‘My brother is a complicated man and has lived a certain way for so long it’s just taking him some time to come to terms that their actually might be someone that he wants to be serious about. Trust me, he’ll get there; it just might take him some time. If you like him back, and judging by the way you look at him when you think nobody’s paying any attention to you I would say you do, just be patient with him.’

Still thinking over her words I didn’t trust my voice not to tremble at the possibilities they could mean, so I nodded to acknowledge I understood what she was saying.

‘And I think he’s right, we would get along pretty well, so what do you say Clarke Griffin, friends?’ She held out her hand towards me and I gladly took it.

Just like that I had a friend, and from that day on Octavia started siting next to me at lunch, people still talked about the change, but since Bellamy never made a big deal out of the situation the rumours eventually stopped. I caught two freshmen saying that I was paying Octavia to be friends with me, unfortunately for them Bellamy had also been within hearing distance and had angrily yelled at them for accusing his sister to be taking bribes to speak with someone. They ran off terrified, after that incident made its way through the school most people just stopped talking about it, afraid to anger Bellamy. We fell into an easier routine, I even accompanied her to her karate class a few times, and initially Bellamy had grumbled about us losing quality time together but as I reminded him of how we ended up hooking up in the first place he agreed knowing how to defend myself would be a smart move.

I found out her real motivation for taking the class the first time I accompanied her. She had a crush on the assistant teacher, a guy named Lincoln who was in his first year of college. He was also the reason she refused to let Bellamy attend, if he found out and I quote _he’ll kill me and never let me leave the house_ , just as she had agreed to keep my secret, I agreed to keep hers. It was clear that even if Lincoln had initially been the cause for her signing up, she fell in love with the sport and she was clearly a natural at it.

The situation with Bellamy hadn’t changed much in the past weeks, we were almost in December and despite the fact that we spend almost all our free time together we were still avoiding discussing anything in regards to _us._ A few times Bellamy had started saying something only to back peddle and change the topic. Octavia was right there was something there, but he needed to figure it out without me or her pressuring him into accepting that he had feelings for me.

My relationship with my mother hadn’t improved much, she seemed pleased about how my grades were looking and the fact that I would most likely be named valedictorian, but she shoved application after application to fill out for all the top colleges in the country down my throat. I was starting to get really nervous, because I didn’t know where Bellamy intended to attend and I was nervous bringing up the subject without pushing him away. Actually I was afraid of hearing similar words he spoke to me when I asked about his grades; _you’re not my girlfriend why do you care what school I go too._

I was surprised when he brought it up while we were working on his physic homework.

‘So Clarke how are the college applications going?’

‘Ok I guess my mom had me applied to like twenty different colleges all over the place.’

‘Is there a front runner, or you just waiting to see where you get accepted too?’

‘Well my mom’s really pushing for Yale, that’s where she went.’

‘What about you? Don’t you know where you want to go?’ I was starting to get freaked out, but in a good way. Bellamy never asked about my personal life, apart from asking when my mom was going to be at the hospital so he could come over. Did this mean that he cared and wanted to maybe go to a college in the state as me?

‘Hell I don’t even know if I want to go in medicine like she wants me too, so choosing a college hasn’t really been on my mind, honestly I’ve been more curious about where you were going to go.’ I saw him tense up a little, which was weird I mean if he was allowed to ask so was I, but he quickly relaxed again.

‘Well for obvious reasons Yale is not among my choices, but I’m sure they have community colleges in Connecticut. Since you’ve helped get my grades back in shape I shouldn’t have any problem getting into those schools.’

‘Bell, what are you saying?’ What did this mean? That he wanted to keep me around to help him study or that he wanted us to continue once we leave for college. I needed to know, no more hiding or waiting. Bellamy didn’t answer right away; instead he got up and started pacing around the room.

‘Do you really need me to spell it out for you, aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?’

‘Bellamy please.’ He sat back down in his chair staring at me; he took my hands in his hands.

‘I don’t know how the hell it happened, but somehow you got under my skin. I’ve got feelings for you, it’s not just physical anymore, I would like it, I mean would you consider…God dammit Clarke Griffin will you go out with me. I feel like such a middle schooler, could I be any more lame.’ I didn’t think so, actually the moment was perfect and so was Bellamy. When he look up into my eyes, which he had been avoiding during his confession, the tears were obvious. I know Octavia had told me he felt more for me than he lead on, but to actually hear him say it melted my heart. He wanted me.

‘Yes, I will, nothing would make me happier.’ His worried look vanished and his lips found mine. How he could ever think I would turn him down I would never know, I wouldn’t trade this moment right here for anything. When we finally broke apart, he leaned his forehead against mine taking in my scent.

‘Will you go out on a date with me this weekend?’ I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my mouth at the prospect of Bellamy actually taking me out.

‘There’s this ancient Rome exhibit at the museum, plus I’m sure we won’t bump into anybody from school.’ I took a sharp intake of air, so I was to remain a secret. I guess it didn’t really come as a surprise, but still I thought he was passed being embarrassed by me.

‘Clarke no don’t be angry, it would just be simpler that way, we’re almost done with school and we probably won’t see any of them once we leave for college. It would just cause drama, believe me I’m just trying to protect you.’ If we were going to do this for real I needed to have faith in Bellamy and his feelings for me, if he said it was about protecting me I would believe him.

‘Ok, but tell me this, did you pick this as a date just so you could show me up?’ History was the only class where Bellamy had always excelled and he took every opportunity to rub it in my face. He laughed and winked at me.

‘Perhaps.’

As expected when he went to the museum he acted like a kid in a candy store, giving me expert information on everything we saw. He was an incredibly cute sight, and he never let go of my hand the entire time we were there. Even kissing me out in the open in every dark corner the museum had to offer. He took my breath away every time his lips met mine, the feel of his hand in mine thrilling me to no end. When he were finally done looking at the exhibit I wasn’t ready to go home. Still high on emotions from our first date, so he drove me back to his place.

I had told Octavia about the date, actually I’m pretty sure it would have been impossible for me to hide it from her I had been so happy the days leading up to it. But she had promised to wait until it was over to tease her brother. As soon as we got to his place she jumped all over us.

‘Finally! I’ve been holding this in forever.’

‘You knew?’ Bellamy wasn’t angry, just surprised he hadn’t noticed his sister had found us out.

‘Your like the less stealthy person I know, I’m surprised nobody else had caught on, the looks you guys send each other in the cafeteria are impossibly cute.’

‘We do not!’

‘Deny it all you want Bell, but you do.’

‘Octavia come back here this conversation isn’t over.’

If this wasn’t happiness, being with Bellamy and having Octavia as a friend, I didn’t know what was. My heart was full of love for the first time in a long time.

 

 


	6. It's the season to be jolly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to my beta LuxeLisbon and also to Lisa vas normandy for giving me some advice on the story. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter, sorry it took so long.

I still couldn’t get over how much my life had changed over the past few months. Clarke had invaded every single part of my life, but what was most surprising was the fact that I was happy about these changes. In the past girls were only good to satisfy my needs. I was convinced that the reason I went from one girl to the next was because I didn’t want to commit, but the truth was that none of them had held my attention long enough for me to want to stay with them. It was different with Clarke; she challenged me and pushed me to be better. My grades had done a complete 180 and most of my teachers we’re commending me for all my hard work. There was an actual chance that I could get into a good school and make something of myself.

My mother was extremely pleased with me; I had never seen her so proud as when she had to sign my latest report card.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you Bell, but whatever it is keep it up.” I wasn’t sure how my mother would react if I told her Clarke was the reason I was doing so well.

My mother wasn’t the only one that noticed the change; my friends were starting to ask questions and I had no explanations to give them. When I had finally mustered up the courage to tell Clarke that I had feelings for her, I was sure that no matter what I didn’t want anybody at school to know about us. Of course Clarke had assumed the worst and believed it was because I was ashamed of her. But Clarke being Clarke gave me the benefit of the doubt and agreed to go along with it. I kept justifying the secret by telling myself I was protecting her, that if it came out we were together things might get harder for her at school. Truth was I was scared that the opposite would happen, that people would accept her and someone would realise just how great she was and take her from me.

Between Miller’s continual comments on how hot Clarke looked and Murphy’s firm belief that rich people like her deserved to be taught a lesson, lunch had become the worst time of the day for me. I had to spend the entire time ignoring the inappropriate comments they were both making towards my girl, while watching her from afar. At least I took some comfort in how well she and Octavia were getting along. It was nice to see them happy whenever they hung out together, even if often they teamed up against me. Octavia was angry with me for keeping our relationship a secret, but since I refused to do anything about that she eventually stopped mentioning it, sending me death glares from across the cafeteria whenever she caught me staring at Clarke.

“Seriously Blake, whatever is happening you can tell us we’ll help you. You need to get out of this funk.”

“I’m not in a funk, sorry if I don’t want to end up graduating with no prospects.” 

“In all the time I’ve known you you’ve never cared about that, who is she?” Shit, Octavia was right I was acting too differently for them not to eventually catch on.

“Who’s who?” 

“Don’t play dumb Blake the only reason any man has to change is if a girl has him wrapped around her finger. You’ve got a secret girlfriend, that’s the only thing that would explain your recent behaviour and the fact that you never have time for us anymore.” Wow I had always assumed Murphy was too dumb to notice anything, turns out he wasn’t. 

“I don’t have a secret girlfriend, Murphy chill, I told you I don’t want to end up working a dead end job.” There was no point to continuing arguing with them, they didn’t understand, I got up and threw out the rest of my lunch. It was true Clarke was a huge part of the reason I was changing, but I also wanted to make something out of myself so I could be proud. Clarke was right I could be so much more if I believed in myself, having her in my corner was great motivation, but if I was ever going to make it I also needed to believe in me.

As I was walking towards my locker I didn’t notice the blonde the came rushing towards me, she kissed me as she slowly pushed me towards the janitor’s closet. Clarke and I had found ourselves in this position multiple times over the past few months, but this was the first time Clarke had initiated anything at school. Despite being still angry that I didn’t want to take our relationship public she had been very good at keeping her distance from me whenever there were people around us. Honestly I was impressed with her self-control, cause I struggled everyday trying to keep my hands off her.   

“The key, get the key it’s in my pocket.” Fuck what was she doing to me, in the most sensual way imaginable Clarke reached into my front pocket to retrieve the key to the closet.  Making a copy of this was probably the smartest thing I’d ever done.  Once the door was open Clarke practically shoved me through it, resuming her kissing as soon as the door closed behind her.

“Not that I’m complaining princess but what brought this on?” 

“I don’t know, I was watching you during lunch and you seemed a little sad, I was hoping this would cheer you up. Are Murphy and Miller still on my case?”

“Honestly I don’t even remember why I’m friends with them, they don’t understand that I’m trying to prepare myself for the future. They think its about a girl.” Clarke raised her right eyebrow at me.

‘Ok maybe it’s a little bit about a girl. This smart, pretty and very sensual girl that I’m so into I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh Bellamy you’re such a charmer, but seriously don’t let them get you down, I know how hard your working to make sure you get into a good college. You can do anything you want, don’t let them convince you otherwise.”

“Thank you, princess.”

“For what?” 

“For believing in me, no one’s ever seen past my background and less than stellar attitude, I would still be wasting my time if you hadn’t given me a push.” 

“Yes you can be quite an ass when you put your mind to it, but Bell I wouldn’t have been able to see there was more to you if you hadn’t let me in. When you let go of the carefully built defense you have to keep people away you are quite an amazing person.” Truth was she had destroyed those walls in a matter of seconds, having Clarke in my life had redefined everything. I loved her, I couldn’t deny it any longer, she made my heart full and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.  I needed to change the topic before I ended up spilling more about my feelings than I was ready to.

“So, are you doing anything special with your mom over the Christmas break?” Clarke’s entire body suddenly stiffen and she looked down in shame. I knew Clarke had a difficult relationship with her mother; I hated the way she always needed to be guarded around her not able to be herself and tell her mother her hopes and dreams.

“Actually no, no plan, she leaving for a medical conference and won’t be back till after New Years.”

“She’s leaving you all alone during the holidays, what the hell?”

“She thinks women of science like us shouldn’t be sentimentally attached to such nonsense like Christmas. It’s fine; you don’t need to worry about me. It would probably be worse if I actually had to spend my two weeks off with her. She’s still on my back about picking the perfect college, so it will be nice to not have to worry about that for a couple of days.” She was trying to act like it didn’t bother her, but I knew her, knew when she was upset even when she tried her best to hide it. To have lost a parent and have the second one so emotionally detached it must be incredible painful.

“Clarke you are not spending Christmas by yourself, you’ll come to my house and spend it with my family.”

‘Bell I can’t impose on you guys, what would we even tell your mother?’ 

“The truth that my girlfriend is coming over.”  I might not be ready to admit my feelings to Clarke, terrified that she might not feel the same way about me, but I knew this was the right thing to do. The idea of her all alone in that big house I couldn’t stand it. 

“Bell.” She looked up at me, with those big blue eyes, like I was her entire world. For a second there I was hopeful that maybe she could love me too.

-:- 

Octavia was thrilled when I announced to mom that I was inviting my girlfriend over. My mother of course immediately started bombarding me with questions about who this mysterious girl was. I decided to tell her as little as possible, I wanted her to meet Clarke in person and make her own opinion of her before she learned that she came from the wealthier side of town.

Octavia announced that if I was bringing over someone, so would she. Apparently I wasn’t the only one that was hiding a relationship. It turns out she had started to see this guy from her class, but she didn’t really elaborate. I made a mental note to ask Clarke about this, since she had attended the class with Octavia she must have met the guy. 

Since Clarke’s mom was away I spent most of the holiday just hanging out at her place.  It was nice to have so much time just the two of us. The guys had dropped by my place a few times, but my mother always sent them away claiming not to know where I was.

**No secret girlfriend, ya right. Whatever Bellamy, just be sure you come to the big new years party this year.**

Murphy’s texts had decreased in volume once he realised I wasn’t planning on answering anytime soon. However, as the New Year approached he started hounding me again with renewed enthusiasms. I didn’t see how I was going to get out of attending that party without him finding out about Clarke. I knew Clarke was planning on going to the party with Octavia, but it simply wouldn’t be the same as spending the evening cuddled together. So much for me being a player, in a matter of months Clarke had completely redefined what I considered having a good time.

“We might not be able to kiss at midnight, but at least that way we’ll be in the same room.”

“Are you guys sure you want to come? It’s mostly people from school."

“Well be fine don’t worry so much, plus Lincoln will probably come with us, nobody’s going to bother us.”

“Lincoln who’s that?”

“Shit.”

“Clarke?”

“He’s your sister boyfriend, but I promised not to say anything to anyone.”

“By anyone, she clearly meant me. Why doesn’t she want you to tell me about this guy? He’s coming for Christmas, it’s not like I’m not going to meet him? Tell me, what’s wrong with him, why has she been hiding him for this long? His he a drug dealer?”

“ _Of course not_ , your sister has pretty high standards for herself. There’s nothing wrong with him, he’s just not what I expected. Like you said you’re going to meet him at Christmas so you can make your own opinion of him. I’m staying out of this.” 

“Oh Clarke unfortunately for you I know your weakness so you will tell me what I want to know.” I slowly approached her, my hands hanging in front of me ready to attack.

“No Bell, you know how ticklish I can be, stay away please!” She started running away, but I was hot on her tail and in no time had her pin down on the bed tickling her everywhere as she called for mercy.

“Fine! Fine! I’ll talk just please stop.” She managed to get out between fits of laughter.

“There’s nothing wrong with him, he’s just a little older than her.” 

“What do you mean older?”

“Well he’s not a student in her class, he’s the assistant teacher.”

“What the hell?” Clarke how could you not tell me, this guy’s clearly taking advantage of her, how old is he like 30? Oh my god I’m going to kill him and then Octavia for being so stupid.’

“Ok Blake calm down you’re overreacting.” Clarke pushed me down on the bed straddling me so I couldn’t rush out the house to talk some sense into Octavia. It was hard to concentrate on my sister with her standing over me like this.

“First you’re not going to say a word until you met him officially because I promised Octavia and you wouldn’t want to cause any problems in our friendship would you?” I begrudgingly agreed, as much as I didn’t want to wait I knew Octavia could hold a serious grudge and I didn’t want Clarke to be on the receiving end.

“Second, he’s only two years older than her. He’s in his first year of college. He’s a good guy Bellamy, I wouldn’t have kept this from you if I didn’t think Octavia was in good hands with him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, he respects her. I don’t see him doing anything that would cause her harm. You’ll see when you meet him.”

“I guess I can try and make an effort, Octavia’s been so good to us.”

“Thank you.”

“No thank you princess, for trying so hard to get along with Octavia and keeping her safe.”

“She’s great, probably my best friend, well she’s actually my only friend, but I’d like to think if I had others she would be the best.” Of course if it weren’t for me she would probably have tons of friends.

“Don’t give me that look Bell it isn’t your fault ok. You’ve got to stop thinking that the whole school hating me is because you’ve got some kind of hold over everybody’s opinion. They would probably still think that I don’t belong there, even if you hadn’t made such a big scene on my first day. You have got to stop feeling guilty about that. I’m fine. We’re fine. Now do you want to leave the house and go confront Octavia or would you prefer if we moved onto more pleasant activities.” 

All thought of Octavia disappeared as Clarke took off her shirt giving me a wonderful view of her breasts from my current position.

-:-

I was a mess, Clarke was coming over in a few minutes and my palms were so sweaty that I couldn’t touch anything without leaving marks everywhere. Lincoln was already here, and Clarke had been right he seemed to be a good guy despite their age difference. Octavia was surprised at how civil I was acting.

“You can thank Clarke; she made me promise to give him a chance before I started acting like the awesome big brother everybody knows I am.”

“Are you sure she said that second part.”

“Ok I may have added that bit. But seriously O, don’t get mad at Clarke she gave me the heads up for Lincoln so I’ve had time to mentally prepare myself. I can’t say that I like that he’s older, but he seems to genuinely care for you, so I’ll let it go. But so help me god if he does anything to hurt you.”

“He won’t” a huge smile spread across her face “oh my god thank you Bellamy I was afraid that you would kick him out.”

“Hey I’m not that big of an ass.” 

“Actually you were, before you met Clarke. She’s good for you, don’t keep her hidden for too long, you might end up losing her. And I’m warning you if you do, I’m siding with her.” 

The doorbell interrupted us; this was it there was no going back once my mother met Clarke.

“She’ll love her Bell don’t worry.” 

Octavia had been right; my mother took to Clarke right away. When she asked about her parents, Clarke remained silent. I wasn’t sure what she was most reluctant to discuss; the lost of the father she adored or her wealthy mother who couldn’t bother to spend Christmas with her only child. But when she did get the courage to talk about them my mother offered simply condolences and moved on to another topic. Clarke’s mother wasn’t brought up again, and I notice my mom send looks filled with fondness towards her during the night. I don’t know why I was so nervous at the start of the evening. I should have known better, that my mother would never judge Clarke based on her parents wealth or status.

Clarke and Lincoln were in the kitchen doing the dishes, they had insisted since my mother had been so generous at having them over. It took some arguing, but my mother eventually relented. Octavia was in there with them, probably claiming to be supervising so she didn’t have to do any of the work. 

“I like her son, and she’s clearly part of the reason you’ve been keeping out of trouble lately, why did you keep her hidden for so long. It’s clear from the way you act around each other that this isn’t new.”

“I don’t know mom I guess I was being stupid. I was afraid you wouldn’t think we should be together because she comes from the wealthy side of town. I’ve heard you say crap about these people for years and I didn’t want Clarke to feel unwelcome.”

“Oh Bell, yes most of the people I work for are self-entitled asses, but that doesn’t mean everybody that has money is like that.  She’s a good girl, you look good together.”

“Thanks mom.”

“She can stay the night if she wants, spending Christmas night alone can’t be very thrilling, just remember the walls are very thin." 

“Mom!”

“I’m not an idiot son.”

“This is so embarrassing, can we not talk about my sex life.”

“If you’re mature enough to sleep with someone you’re old enough to talk about it, I just want to make sure you’re both safe.”

“We are mom, I promise.” Thankfully Clarke, Lincoln and Octavia came out of the kitchen putting an end to the conversation.  I could understand why my mom was worried, she had given birth to me when she was pretty young and had gotten pregnant with Octavia son after. She loved us to death, but I think part of her would have wish she had waited before having kids.

“Well I’m going to head to bed, you youngsters have fun.”

“Thank you so much for having me over, I haven’t had such an enjoyable family meal in a long time.”

“You are very welcome Clarke, you can stop by any time, you’re part of the family now.” Clarke blushed at my mother’s comment; I could tell my mom’s words meant a lot to her. Lincoln also thanked my mom, before she left for her room. 

“Well it’s just us now, what do you guys want to do?”

“How about we watch a Christmas movie?”

“Sounds like a plan, O you pick something me and Clarke will be right back.” It might not be the smartest idea to leave Octavia in charge of picking the movie, I had a feeling I was going to be subjected to watching Love actually again, but I wanted a few minutes with Clarke.

“So my mom said you could stay here tonight, I think she doesn’t like the idea of you being alone at home.” The blush was back; if I had known the affect bringing Clarke home would have on her I might have considered doing it sooner.

“Your mom is incredibly sweet. You’re lucky to have someone in your corner that cares so much about you.” Tears were forming in her eyes and I knew she was thinking about her dad.

“Hey princess, I know you miss him, but I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

“Thanks Bell, it’s so hard because he made our home a home and without him it’s become this empty shell. I can’t remember the last time me and my mother sat together for a meal because we wanted to spend time together. I’m trying to make her happy, but nothing seems to be enough.”

“Clarke I know how difficult it is with your mother, but maybe distance is just her way of dealing with her grief. Have you tried to talk to her about it?”

“No, not really I guess I could try, it couldn’t really be worse than the way things are now.”

“You feeling better?”

“Yes.”

“Good, now how about we put you in something more comfortable, not that I don’t love the dress your wearing, but you’ll be more comfy watching the movie.”

“And what exactly did you have in mind mister Blake, I didn’t bring any clothes with me.” I was grinning from ear to ear; I had the perfect outfit in mind for her. I got out a pair of sweat pants I knew they would be a little big on her, but if we rolled the waste they should be able stay on her hips. The shirt was an old soccer jersey, but the best part was that it had my name written in the back. The idea of having Clarke wear it was a real turn on.

She smirked at me, when she noticed the writing on the short. I feigned innocence, claiming I had no idea that was on there. 

“Ok now leave the room while I change.”

“Come on Clarke it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

“True, but can you guarantee me that you will be able to keep your hands off me while I slowly undress.” She was right. I hesitated before walking out of the room, what was I going to talk about with this Lincoln dude. I wanted to keep my promise to Clarke but at the same time I needed to make sure he was good enough for O.

Well here goes nothing.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left a kudo. And a special thanks to those who took the time to leave a comment, they always brighten up my day!


	7. Mine!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Lisa vas Normandy for giving me feedback on this chapter and helping me make it even better. My beta has been busy lately so she didn’t have time to look this over; since I didn’t want you guys to have to wait another month I’m posting it anyway. So I apologies for my grammar ahead of time.

When I entered the living room I found Lincoln by himself, putting the movie into the DVD player. 

“Hey man where did my sister run off to?” 

“She decided to change, I guess being in a dress and heels isn’t ideal for watching a movie.”

“Clarke’s doing the same, you can borrow something if you want to get out of your suit.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m probably going to head out soon. I promised my parents I would visit them over the break.” It was clear I wasn’t going to find an opening to talk about my sister, might as well just dive in and hope for the best.

“So you and Octavia how’s that going?” Lincoln chuckled and I think it was the first time since he showed up earlier in the evening that I saw his carefully placed facade fade a little. 

“I was wondering when this conversation was going to happen, I’ve been worrying about it since I walked through the door.” 

“I guess Octavia warned you I can be a little bit overbearing at times.”

“She might have mentioned something along those lines.”

“Look I’ve caused Octavia to be cut out from having a social life for a long time now and I don’t want to be a hindrance to her happiness anymore. I can’t say that I’m a fan that you’re older than her. I’m afraid it might lead you to expect more from her than she’s ready for. However, I’ve seen the way you are with her and I do get the feeling that you really care about her, am I wrong?” 

“I do, care about her, I swear. To be honest I tend to keep to myself most of the time, I didn’t plan on Octavia happening. She doesn’t really take no for an answer when it’s something she really wants.” It was my turn to laugh, they might not have been together for long, but Lincoln understood my sister that much was clear.

“Yes, she is pretty stubborn when she wants to be. Look I’m not going to intimidate you or anything, but do know that if you hurt her in anyway I’ve got her back and I will make sure you pay for it.”

“Dully noted.”

“Clarke mentioned that you’re going with them to this New Years party.”

“That’s right, I didn’t feel comfortable letting Octavia go by herself. Boys that age aren’t to be trusted around alcohol.” I don’t know if he was saying this to butter me up so I would like him more or if he truly believed that, but in that moment I decided that Lincoln was trustworthy enough to be with my sister. None of the guys from school would respect her like he does. 

“Good, did Octavia mention anything to you about my relationship with Clarke?”

“She did say something about you keeping it on the down low at school, but she didn’t really go into specifics.” 

“We are, so at the party I won’t really be able to be with her, so I was wondering …”

“I know this must be hard for you, so I’ll make it easy, I’ll look out for your girl, you don’t even have to ask.”

“Thanks.” 

After what seem to be an eternity the girls finally came back into the living room. I knew it normally took girls a long time to get dressed, but this time was a little ridiculous. Looking at Octavia’s mischievous smile and the fact that they were both holding their cell phones as the entered the room, I wondered if they had planned for Lincoln and I to have more time to talk. Octavia must really be serious about him if she was going through so much trouble to make sure I got along with him.

“Hey babe anything happen while I was gone?” Clarke whispered into my ear, probably trying to find out how my conversation with Lincoln had gone. 

“No fistfight broke out if that’s what your wondering. You were right he’s a pretty decent guy and he makes O happy so I won’t stand in the way of that.” My civility earned me a kiss on the cheek and a very proud looking girlfriend. 

Lincoln only stayed for half the moving, reluctantly leaving, but Octavia appeared to have had such a great evening it didn’t put a damper on her mood. Once he was gone Octavia pulled Clarke into her room probably to gush over her new boyfriend. I wasn’t very please with losing my girlfriend, but since she was spending the night I figured I’d let O borrow her for a little bit. Plus since it got me out of watching the end of this movie I couldn’t really complain.

Clarke and I hadn’t exchanged gifts yet, I was pretty nervous about what I had gotten for her.  I had noticed a couple weeks back a sketchbook in Clarke’s room, it was full of beautiful drawings she had done ever the years. I had never realized before how talented she was, when I mentioned it to her she tried to brush it off as a hobby but I could tell by the way she talked about it that it was a true passion. One of her sketches was of her and her father when she was about five years old; one night while she was asleep I removed it so I could have it framed. I just hoped it wasn’t too personal a gift. I had hesitated a lot before having it done, wondering whether we were at that stage yet. I was so out of my depth for things like this I could only hope for the best. 

I was starting to fall asleep when Clarke finally joined me in bed. 

“How’s Octavia?”

“Incredibly happy, and gratefully to you for making an effort.” 

“She deserves it.” I noticed Clarke holing a little box in her hands.

“Is that for me?”

“Maybe.” Before taking it from her hands I got up to get her gift and watched as she opened it first. As soon as she saw the drawing tears started to spill out of her eyes.

“Clarke I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just when I saw it I knew it had to be framed and placed somewhere special.”

“Oh no Bell I’m not crying because I’m sad, I’m thankful this is a beautiful gift. Now open yours.”  Inside the box I found a watch, it was still in great shape, but it was obvious it was used.

“The watch was my dad’s I bought it for him when I was 14, it means a lot to me but seeing it in his closet unused seemed unless, I wanted someone important to have it.”

“Clarke I will wear it with pride.” I guess we were at the stage of exchanging personal and emotional gifts.  The idea that we were getting more serious was extremely scary, but the idea of not having her in my life was scarier. So I pushed down my fears and hugged Clarke like there was no tomorrow.

-:-

Since meeting my mother Clarke started coming around for dinner more often. She even made plans with my mom and Octavia to go out shopping for graduation dresses. It was nice to see all the important people in my life getting along.

I was really dreading going to this New Years party but I had promised the boys. Also Octavia and Clarke’s mind was set on going. Octavia wanted Clarke to experience her first high school party before she graduated. I knew Lincoln was coming along, but I didn’t really want to let Clarke out of my sight. These parties tended to get out of hand rather quickly. 

The girls were getting ready at Clarke’s knowing Miller was picking me up and I wanted to avoid him interacting with Clarke as much as possible, especially since she was planning on wearing that sinfully inappropriate black dress. I tried talking her out of it and going in an old pair of sweat pants but that conversation didn’t go over very well. 

“So you get to look incredibly hot and I have to watch girls throw themselves at you all night long but I’m supposed to dress like I’m going to gym class. I don’t think so Bellamy Blake. I’ll see you at the party tonight.” Just as quickly as she reached the door to my bedroom she turned back towards me.

“10, 9, 8, 7,…”

“Clarke what are you doing?” She didn’t answer and continued her countdown until she reached 1. 

“Happy New Year Bellamy.” Then she reached for the back of my neck bringing my lips down to meet hers. “Since I won’t get to do that tonight I figure I’d get it out of my system now.”

“ _Clarke.”_  

“Its fine, you can make it up to me later.” I knew the secrecy was starting to be too much for her, and if I was being honest it was started to take its toll on me too.

-:- 

Standing alone with a beer in my hands I watched Clarke in the distance having fun with O, Lincoln and his friend Nyko who I was briefly introduced to when they arrived. At this moment I really couldn’t remember why I thought it was a good idea not to tell anyone about us.

Clarke looked smoking hot in her outfit, and I wasn’t the only one who took notice. The guys in the room weren’t approaching her, but their eyes were clearly undressing her. Part of me was thrilled that despite not being next to her, she was wearing the bracelet I had gotten for her and my little B was proudly hanging off her wrist.  I wasn’t sure what I was thinking when I bought it, part of me loved the idea of marking her as mine this way. If I couldn’t hold onto her in public at least I knew that when she was wearing the bracelet with my initial on it, it served as a signal to guys that she belonged to someone.  

She seemed to be hitting it off with this Nyko dude; they were in an animated conversation. I got a little closer to them trying to eavesdrop.

“So do you know what you plan on specializing in?”

“I’m not sure yet, I was thinking maybe brain surgery, but I guess I’ll discover more about my interest once I have to do rotations. How about you?”

“Not sure, I’m not decided on going to medical school. I like the idea of helping people, but not sure it’s my calling in life. But maybe paediatrics, I’d like to be able to help children.”

“That’s a good field, but you have to be strong of heart to see all these children in need.”

So it appeared that Nyko was doing the pre-med program, I felt completely out of my depth and I wasn’t even part of the conversation. Clarke was meant to do great things, and I wasn’t even sure I was going to be able to get into a decent community college. At this moment I felt a little underserving of her, seeing her talking with someone as smart and well off as her was difficult. She was so special and I was nothing but a screw up most of the time.

I couldn’t handle watching them together, he was clearly into her and there was nothing I could do about it. Only able to watch at a distance as he flirted with her, of course Clarke was completely oblivious to his intentions. I wondered how far he would have to go for her to realize that he liked her. Don’t these college guys have people their own age they could be hanging out with? 

“Bellamy where have you been I’ve been looking for you everywhere? I’ve got these two chicks totally wasted I’m sure if we play our cards right we can score tonight.” I was hoping to avoid this, being Murphy’s wingman was never pleasant.

“I don’t know man, I don’t really feel up to it tonight.”

“Come on Bellamy, she won’t leave with me unless she knows her friend is taken care of. You owe me after bailing so much over the past couple of months. Your sister’s with her boyfriend I’m sure he can look after her, stop hovering it’s not like you.” 

“I’ll come with you, but no guarantees I’ll be interested in this girl.”

“That’s good enough for me, let’s go.”

Murphy wasn’t kidding when he said they were wasted, one of the girls could barely stand. Murphy was like a predator circling around his prey, it was actually pretty disgusting. I sent Murphy to get more beers, and when he left me alone with the girls I managed to convince them to leave and head home before they did something they would regret.  When Murphy returned he was more than a little pissed at me.

“I’m sorry man; I don’t know what to say they wanted to leave. Maybe you should have asked Miller you know I’ve been off my game lately.”

“True but I didn’t think you could screw up with those two, they were perfect. Anyway Miller had other plans in mind for tonight. I’m hoping he can finally bang her out of his system, so I don’t have to hear about it anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“The princess, Miller’s making his move. When he saw her show up earlier he made up his mind.” Shit _Clarke_ , I knew this party was a terrible idea. Thank god O was here to watch over her. I gave Murphy some lame excuse and rushed back into the main room to check up on Clarke. Octavia and Lincoln were nowhere to be seen, hell I even would have preferred to have Nyko still hovering around her but he also seemed to have disappeared. Miller on the other hand was all over my girl as she tried to get out of his grip.

Nobody touches _my_ girl and gets away with it.

Fuck it this was do or die.

I didn’t think about it, not what this would mean for us and the consequences it could imply for Clarke and me at school. All I knew was that Clarke looked desperate to get away from him and I needed to get to her.

I quickly crossed the room and grabbed Miller by the collar. He barely had time to register what was happening before he was on the floor. Clarke immediately relaxed as I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me.

“Bellamy what the fuck.”

“Nobody touches Clarke, is that clear, _she’s mine_.” I heard people gasp from all sides of the room, but the only one that got my attention was from Clarke herself.

“Bell what are you doing?” She was trying to speak in hushed tones, but with everyone’s eyes on us I’m sure our conversation was on full display.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.” I turned away from her to face the crowd, finally ready to stake my claim on the beautiful girl next to me.

“Clarke and I are together, if I see anybody give her a hard time and try anything with her they’ll have to answer to me.” I shot Miller a pointed expression, he looked incredibly angry, and I had a feeling that after tonight I was out of friends. But as I held onto Clarke’s hand dragging her away, it really didn’t matter.

I knew Clarke had come with her car but I didn’t want to leave my little sister stranded. As if she was reading my thoughts Clarke mentioned that Lincoln had his car. So after a quick text to Octavia to let her know we were leaving, I took Clarke’s keys and opened the passenger side for her. She remained silent the entire drive to her place. I couldn’t read her, was she mad at me for the display I had put on?

When we entered her house she finally exploded.

“Bellamy what were you thinking, what happened to not saying anything? And since when do you feel the need to be all possessive over me. You never had a problem with acting like we were nothing to each other before. What’s going on?” 

“Seeing you tonight looking so beautiful and being hit on by Nyko it was just a little much, I felt infuriated with myself for not being able to stand next to you. And then Miller started touching you, you haven’t heard what he’s been saying about you over lunch. He wants you bad, seeing him with his hands all over you something snapped, I wanted no I needed everyone to know that you were mine.”

“Bell.” 

“I should have done this a while back Clarke; I guess I was just scared that everything would change if we came out in the open. But I don’t want to hide anymore; I want to walk down the hall next to you holding your hand to show the world that you’re mine. Clarke I know we’re from two different worlds and we shouldn’t work but we do. You make me so happy I can’t even describe the feeling. Clarke Griffin I’m in love with you.” That was it, my entire heart out in the open and exposed. A word from her and I would be destroyed or she would make me the happiest man alive. My faith was hanging in the balance. I gathered my courage and looked up towards Clarke, I had been unable to look her in the eyes as I poured my heart out. The sight before me filled my heart with joy, Clarke had the biggest smile on her face and her eyes were filled with tears, which I choose to believe were tears of joy.

“Bellamy Blake you can’t ever do things the normal way, but I couldn’t imagine you any other way. And if you didn’t already know I love you too.”

Her declaration was like music to my ears, gently I took her head in my hands locking my eyes with hers. I had told her how I felt, and now I wanted to show her. I kissed her pouring all my feelings it. We made love that night; it was slow and passionate.

This was a great start to the New Year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter things are going to start to shift, as I will FINALLY reach the part of the story with the prompt that inspired this whole thing. 
> 
> Thank you for the comments and Kudos, you guys are awesome.  
> Smileplease I hope you liked the chapter, you’ve been hoping Bellamy would come clean for a while now. Hopefully it met your expectations.


	8. Lies and betrayals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I’m sorry it took me so long to update, planning a wedding and looking for a house at the same time is not ideal if one plans to have a life outside of these two activities.   
> Second, this chapter hasn’t been looked over by my beta because I felt you had waited long enough, so please forgive any mistakes.   
> Thirdly, this chapters does contain talk of college applications and stuff, I have no idea how the system works in the US so if timeline of their applications being send out and the deadline for choosing a college doesn’t make sense I apologies.

I lay in bed watching the clock tick by as the last hours of peaceful bliss went by. It was the Sunday before Bellamy and I were due to go back to school and I was dreading it.

 

As sleep kept escaping me I was reliving that night in my head and still could get over what had happened. Bellamy Blake was in love with me, I had suspected that he might have some feelings for me as we grew closer, but never would I have imagined that he had fallen for me and that we has willing to admit it to the entire student body.

 

The first few days after his big declaration were like a dream.  My mother was still out of town; part of me was curious as to why a doctor needed to be away from the hospital so often, but the other part of me simply couldn’t bring herself to care. It meant that I could lie in bed with Bellamy for the remaining days we were off from school. The only time we emerged from the house was when Octavia dragged me to go shopping, claiming we needed some girl bonding time and that her brother had monopolized me long enough.

 

Surprising us both Bellamy agreed and invited Lincoln to spend the day with him for some male bonding time. I swear Octavia cried a little seeing her brother and boyfriend getting along like that.

 

I hadn’t said anything to Bellamy afraid of his reaction, but while we were out we saw a couple of girls from school and it was obvious Bellamy and I were still the topic of conversation.

 

From what I had overheard from their conversation it seemed people either thought I had used Octavia to get to Bellamy or that I had some dirt on him and was forcing him to go out with me. It was clear that nobody believed that if we were together it was of his own volition. According to them, the fact that I was a social reject made it impossible for anyone to want to be with me.

 

I knew if I told Bellamy he would be angered for me by those comments and with his temper it was hard to predict how he would react to it. Which is why I was currently lying in bed wide awake because tomorrow we were going back to school and it would be impossible to hide from the rumors going around.  I just prayed that he didn’t get himself into trouble trying to defend my honor or something. I could handle whatever they threw at me, but the thought of Bellamy maybe putting his future in jeopardy because of me was something I would not allow to happen.

 

“Clarke go to sleep.” _Shit_ , how did he know I was awake? I closed my eyes and tried to even out my breathing as much as possible, but he wasn’t falling for it.

 

“This is how you want to play it, fine then I cannot be held responsible for my actions.” Bellamy started tickling me without any mercy until I pleaded for him to stop. Looking straight into my eyes he demanded to know what was worrying me, I swear sometimes this man could read me like an open book. Me who was so careful as to not let anyone in, he had broken down all my walls and always knew when I was feeling upset.

 

“It’s nothing, I’m just afraid once we leave this room and go out into the open everything is going to change. And it’s not that change is necessary a bad thing, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to you on my account.”

 

“Clarke, I can’t predict what’s going to happen because the outside world is uncertain, what I do know is how much I care for you and I’m not going to let anybody get into the way of that.”

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of, it’s sweet but when it comes to me you don’t always act rationally. Promise me that no matter what you hear about me that you won’t go all Rambo on everybody.”

 

“What aren’t you saying? I feel like you’re trying to prepare me for something, but won’t say what it is.”

 

“Just promise to think before you act.” He looked at me for a few seconds without saying anything, maybe it was unwise not to prepare him for what was to come the next day but he would find out soon enough what people thought of me, of us together, no need to speed up the process.

 

“Anything for you princess, but you have to stop worrying that pretty little head of yours and go to sleep. We can’t have our best and brightest falling asleep during class, people will think I’m a bad influence on you.” 

 

“But you are a terribly bad influence on me, instead of sleeping right now I can think of a million other activities I would rather be doing.”

 

“Really does one of those activities include kissing me?”

 

“It might, if you play your cards right you might tire me out so much that I won’t have a choice but to fall asleep in class to show everybody just how bad an influence you are.”

 

“Challenge accepted.” Kissing Bellamy, even after months of us being together, still felt new, because I was discovering another side to him. The side he rarely showed anybody, the caring side of him, and this Bellamy was a fearsome thing to behold and I wasn’t about to let anybody take him away from me.

 

-:-

 

Bellamy and I drove to school together, we stopped by his place early in the morning to get Octavia and so his mother could see we were still alive. Every time I was around she loved to tease Bellamy about how he was so in love with me that he couldn’t bear the thought of being without me for even a second, but whenever he left the room and the teasing stopped I could tell how happy she was for him.

 

“Clarke if anything happens, if anyone tries to hurt you, you find me or Octavia or even a teacher. Don’t try to act strong, promise me?”

 

“Bell I’m not a child.” I could hear Octavia chuckling in the backseat, glad to have someone else bear the brunt of Bellamy’s overprotection.

 

“I will do my best to make it clear to everyone that f they touch you they’ll have to answer to me.” I gave him a meaningful look, had he already forgotten the promise he made with me the night before. “and I will do so in a very responsible and rational manner don’t worry,”

 

“You’re so completely whipped brother, one look from Clarke and you fall into line.  Never thought I would see the day.” I knew it wasn’t a question of being whipped, but Bellamy knew how much it meant to me for him to keep his promise, I knew how hard he would try, so I guess I could also make a effort to make him feel comfortable.

 

“I’ll be careful I promise, and if I see any signs of danger I will run the other way.”

 

“That’s my girl.”

 

As expected as soon as we arrived we heard whispers all around us. The news had clearly reached everybody, even the ones that hadn’t attended the new years party. Girls were staring at me with hatred in their eyes, especially the ones that had gotten with Bellamy before. I could handle a couple of angry girls no problem, what worried me was the lustful looks that the boys were sending my way. From the way Bellamy’s grip tighten and the daggers he was trying to send with his eyes to everyone within reach it was clear he had also noticed.

 

He bent down to whisper in my ear, “If anything happens you come and find me, don’t you try and be a hero.” I was about to make a joke about him being my knight in shining armor, but his tone and the fierceness in his voice told me it was best not to tease him about this. And if Bellamy was this worried, I was going to listen to him, so I nodded.

 

“My god Clarke it’s like every guy in the whole school is salivating over you.”

 

“Octavia you’re not helping.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to Bell, this is your fault and you know it.” She smirked at him clearly enjoying the situation.

 

“I don’t understand, it’s not like I changed over the break?”

 

“No, but you’re more appealing to them. Look you’ve always been hot and any fool would admit to that, but because of Bellamy’s attitude towards you nobody ever dared to make a move. Now add the fact that not only did you hook up with Bellamy but you actually got him to date you, every guy wants to know what kid of tricks you can do in bed to get this womanizer douche bag to settle down.” I had never thought of it like that, Octavia’s explanation made a lot of sense, but didn’t do much in reassuring me.

 

“Don’t worry Clarke I’m sure none of them are stupid enough to make a move for you until Bellamy’s done with you, not that I think he would treat you like the girls in the past, but they sure are expecting it.”

 

“Well they’ll all be very disappointed, no way I’m letting any of them lay a hand on you.”

 

I couldn’t deny that a possessive Bellamy was very very attractive. But I couldn’t enjoy this new side of him as much as I wanted too nor the fact that he was walking me to class, the moment was ruined by the constant looks and whispers.

 

“I’ll be fine Bell. Maybe I should carry paper spray so you could feel more at ease.”

 

“That’s not a bad idea, we’ll stop by after school.”

 

“I was just kidding, everything is going to be fine, this is just high school for crying out loud not some high security prison.”

 

“Teenagers can be cruel Clarke you know this better than anybody, don’t forget that.” With a kiss on the cheek, that earned a few glares directed at us, Bellamy left to make his way towards his own classroom.

 

“You must think you’re so special right now, but just you wait he’s going to drop you like all the other ones, and as soon as that happens the real fun starts for us.”

 

“If you think things were bad before you’ve seen nothing. A girl like you doesn’t deserve to be with him, he’s a god and you’re nothing. He’s probably just with you for you’re money anyway.”

 

“I don’t know girls, now that I look closely she does have a nice body, one that I would be more than happy to take care of once Blake his done with you. What do you say Clarke, I’m sure I can satisfy your needs just as well.”

 

_Keep your head down; don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing your reaction._

I was trying really hard not to talk back to them, let them know what Bell and I had was special and that I wouldn’t expect them to understand. But I knew that would only make matters worse, so instead I kept my head down and tried my best to ignore them. Luckily when the teacher came in they stopped paying me much attention, probably afraid I would tattle on them, cause that’s the type of person they all thought I was.

 

The rest of the morning went by in similar fashion, as soon as Bellamy left me alone the verbal attacks began. At least nobody had tried to physically harm me. When I saw Miller, still showing a black eye, I got worried for a minute but he walked by me without saying a word. I even noticed him smile a little at me when we passed each other; I wondered what that was about.

 

At lunchtime Bellamy ate with Octavia and I, but he didn’t touch me for the entire meal, he also keep his distance from me as he walked me to my next class. He was probably worried that it would add fuel to the already burning fire.

 

I was exiting my last class of the day, on my way to meet Bell, thinking that the day could have gone worst when Murphy grabbed me. He covered my mouth making it impossible to scream for help as he pulled me towards an empty corner away from prying eyes.

 

“I don’t know what the hell you’ve done to my friend, but it’s clear to me you’re nothing but a disgusting whore. He will get tired of you and when that happens I will get back at you for turning him into this pathetic love filled person, he was the king and nobody not even you will ruin him. Watch your back because I’ll be coming for you.” I was relived when he let me go; clearly he was only trying to scare me and had no intention of actually harming me, for now.

 

“What makes you think I won’t go running to him now and tell him what you just did to me.”

 

“Because you care about him, and you wouldn’t want to be the reason why our friendship feel to pieces, or are you that selfish that after taking is reputation down now you’re looking to get rid of all his friends as well.” He did make a point, if I told Bellamy about this encounter he would get rid of Murphy, and they had been friends for years. As much as I hated to admit it, Murphy was right I wouldn’t be the reason for breaking up their friendship. Even if I believed he deserved better friends than this creep, that was a decision Bellamy would have to make on his own.

 

“Maybe, but be sure of this, if you ever put your hands on me again I won’t hesitate to let him know and it will be you’re funeral.”

 

I tried my best to settle my features before meeting up with Bellamy, luckily he was too eager to finally be able to kiss me away from school to notice anything wrong with me. “That wasn’t so bad, now we only have six more months of this, and we’ll be home free. I even patched things up with Miller, I think we were worried for nothing.”

 

I couldn’t bear to break up his happy mood. He was right, once high school was finished we would never have to deal with these people again, once we left for school Murphy and the rest of them would be a distant memory. I could keep it together for that long.

 

-:-

 

The first month after our relation come out had been more or less the same, when Bellamy left me alone I would hear all kinds of comments, but people soon realized that I wasn’t going to react to them, and as more time passed they realized we were still together and that maybe it was the real deal.

 

Eventually most of them got tired of taunting me and my days more or less return to the way it was before I started going out with Bellamy. Some girls tried to befriend me in order to get closer to my boyfriend but it was easy to see how fake they were.

 

We gained a new tablemate in Miller, who hadn’t been angry with Bellamy once he learned the whole story. He actually found the whole situation rather funny and apologized for all the things he had said about me in the past.  Their was no hard feelings toward Bellamy for haven gotten to me first, and to my great surprised I realized that Miller was a pretty decent guy when he wasn’t trying to impress the rest of the school.

 

Murphy kept his distances from us at school, but when the boys had guy’s night out he would always join them. Bellamy said he was slowly coming to accept our relationship.  I had my doubts but as long has he was happy with his friends I wasn’t going to say anything.

 

My mom remained mysteriously absent most of the time and I had begun spending more and more time at Bellamy’s place. It felt nice to have somewhere I felt safe to be able to go to after having a bad day. It was much better then returning to an empty home full of memories.

 

Bellamy had sent out his college application and after reviewing all his papers I believed he had a strong chance. I hadn’t told him, and I was doing my best so my mother didn’t find out, but I had applied to an art program at Bellamy’s top choice. I wasn’t planning on following him there or anything, I wasn’t that type of girl to drop everything for a guy, but as I was looking at the different options with him I realized that they had this amazing art program and for the first time since I started thinking about my future I felt excited. I still didn’t know for sure what I was going to go, I still applied at all the schools my mom had listed as the best of the best, but it felt good to finally do something for me.

 

Before I knew it there was only one month left of school. I couldn’t say I was very sad to be leaving high school behind me. Acceptance letters were starting to come in and you could feel excitement in the air. Part of me had almost wished not to get accepted into Yale, perhaps if I didn’t get in my mother would let me chose which school I wanted to go to, unfortunately I would never know, because all my letters had been positive including Yale’s.

 

I still hadn’t made up my mind as to where I wanted to go and I was slowly running out of time.

 

As the end of school slowly approached my mother seem to reemerge, never giving me a moments alone. I hadn’t seen Bellamy in a week, expect for lunchtime at school, and I was really looking forward to graduation tomorrow so we could finally get some alone time.

 

“So Clarke I spoke with the dean of admissions at Yale and it would seem that you have yet to send in your tuition. Is there a problem, something you would like to talk about?” I really shouldn’t have been surprised that the only reason she was concerned about me was when I went against her plans for my life.

 

“I haven’t made up my mind yet, it’s no big deal I’ve still go time.”

 

“And what’s this about applying for an art degree at this second rate college.” She was holding up my acceptance letter, which was safely put away in my room.

 

“You went through my stuff?”

 

“I didn’t have much of a choice since my daughter’s been keeping secrets from me.”

 

“Well maybe if you were around more, instead of doing god knows what, I would talk to you about these things.”

 

“Don’t make this about me, when we both know this is about some boy. You’re throwing your life away for some delinquent.” She knew about Bellamy, I had done everything in my power to hide it from her, because I wanted him as far away as possible from this life. I didn’t want my mother to get her hands on him.

 

“This isn’t about him, it’s about what I want.”

 

“He’s corrupted you that much is clear, you’ve always wanted to be a doctor and now all of a sudden you want something different.”

 

“Have I mother, are you sure about that? Have you ever stopped to ask me what I wanted to do?”

 

“You’re just confused because of him, it doesn’t matter because it won’t be an issue for much longer. You are not to see this boy ever again.”

 

“Don’t you dare do anything to separate us, he makes me happy, not that you care.”

 

“Don’t make this difficult Clarke, I’ve already made plans for you. After graduation tomorrow I’m sending you to live with a friend of mine, Marcus Kane, in Connecticut. I’ll be joining you shortly after I sale the house.”

 

“Your selling our home without even talking to me about it, is that where you’ve been all this time in Connecticut with this Marcus person?”

 

“I am not the one were discussion right now. Stop acting like a child and go get your tuition check ready.” I couldn’t believe her; she was making all these decisions without even asking me, pretty much like she had done my entire life. I was done, no more, she was done controlling me. I didn’t have my dad anymore to balance her out, if I wanted to do something different I would have to stand up for myself.

 

“No!”

 

“Excuse me.”

 

“I said no, I’m an adult, I will make this decision on why own without your involvement.” I knew she wasn’t going to listen, I needed to cool my head down a little so I could think, really think about what I wanted to do. The best place I knew where to do that was at Bellamy’s. So without looking back I grabbed my coat and keys and rushed out of there.

 

Bellamy was supposed to be home alone all day, I knew because he had booked a day at the spa for his mother and sister. He claimed they needed to look their best as he graduated. So I was surprised to find the door slightly open, as well as a female voice coming from inside. Worried something might be happening I rushed inside, unprepared for the sight before me.

 

They were pieces of clothing all over the floor, I gasped as I saw a pink bra covered in flowers, something so flashy that I knew Octavia couldn’t be the owner.  

 

It couldn’t be, he wouldn’t, he loved me and yet as I pushed the door to his bedroom my entire world feel apart. My boyfriend, lying in bed naked with some random girl I didn’t recognize.

 

“Clarke.” There was anguish in his voice; at least he had the decency to feel bad about it. I couldn’t reply, no voice was coming out, no anger either I just felt empty; like someone had reached into my chest cavity and ripped my heart out. He made a move to get up and come towards me, but I couldn’t stay. So I ran, with no destination in mind just the desire to escape this pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try my best to not have you wait so long for the next chapter, especially now that were finally getting to the heart of the story. Please leave a review if you liked or even if you disliked this chapter, they help me progress. Thank you!


	9. Unexpected development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of reviews I got for the last chapter was unexpected; it’s nice to see so many of you involved in the story. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings, it’s interesting to read your ideas of what you think happened.   
> I feel I should let you know that Bellamy won’t be in this chapter; I don’t want you guys to be disappointed as you read. But we get to see Raven, Jasper and Monty for the first time.   
> Also in order to post this as fast as possible like the last chapter this was written without a beta, please be understanding of any mistakes.

I had made it almost to the edge of town when I finally stopped running; my phone was exploding with unanswered calls, all from my mother. There were no calls from Bellamy telling me it was a big misunderstanding and that he still loved me. Was this it, the moment when he dropped me like all the other girls that came before me? I would have thought I deserved at least a proper break up instead of this crap. How dare he break my heart like this? He was the one that had started to get serious first; he’s the one that brought up colleges and where we might end up and he was the one that exposed our relationship to everybody. I might have had feelings for him long before but I knew where I stood with him; I had no expectations of a future with him. He was the one that changed the rules.

None of them really cared, not my mother who tried her best to mold me to fit her expectations nor Bellamy who clearly had gotten tired of me. I was sick of this place, of everybody knowing who I was and judging me before they got to know me, I needed a fresh start.

Once my mind was made up it was surprisingly easy to get organized, I focused on the task at hand refusing to let my emotions run wild. I would deal with them later, once I was far away from this place. I waited outside my house for my mother to leave for the hospital, I knew that despite her trying so hard to find me she would never miss work no matter the reason. So I waited and like clockwork she left the house at 7:05 in order to get to her precious hospital.

As soon as she was out of sight I rushed to my room and started packing the essentials, and sat down at my computer to write one last college essay. I had no chance of getting in since it was so late, but I had to try. I knew I wanted to study art; the city didn't matter, as long as it was from away from here. It also needed to be somewhere unexpected where my mother wouldn't look for me, _or Bellamy._

Who was I kidding if he wasn't going to come after me when we were in the same town he wouldn't come looking once I left. He was lost to me. I was so angry, with him for what he had done after claiming he loved me, but also at myself for letting him in, in the first place, I should have known better. When I lost my father I felt nobody would ever care and support me like he did and I had decided that I would need to be strong, unfortunately I had made the mistake of leaning on Bellamy. Once again I had someone that was on my side no matter what, I should have know better, nothing last forever.

Most of all I just felt alone, I had nobody I could turn to deal with what was happening and that made me incredibly depressed. Octavia might have been a contender, but she was to close to Bellamy. They were family a real one, not like me and my mother who had become strangers, as much as I was angry with him I didn’t want Octavia to have to choose between the two of us. I really needed to leave this place and find a place where I belong.

Snap out of it Clarke...right I had a task to complete, I needed to focus. I ended up settling on the Art institute of Chicago and wrote an introductory letter in which for the first time I was able to be honest. I wrote about how for all my life I had been groomed by my mother to become a doctor but that drawing had always been a passion of mine, one I could no longer deny. I quickly put a portfolio together and printed out all the forms I would need, this was it my whole future was ridding on this.

The last thing I needed to do was transfer the money my father had left me into a different bank, a bank my mother didn't have access to, this way she wouldn't be able to find me once I left. Since it was late it would be impossible to do tonight so I couldn't take too many things from my room or my mother would notice I had left, I needed to get a head start or she would find me and probably drag me back kicking and screaming. I took one last look at my home before walking away with no intentions of returning. I did take the time to mail a letter to Octavia, she would probably get the story from her brother, but she was the only person I was leaving behind that cared about me so she deserved it, even if it wasn't a great goodbye at least she could get some kind of closure.

I spent the night at the old motel at the edge of town, I was sure nobody would come looking for me here. My mother started calling me again as soon as her shift was over, after a few hours I grew so tired of hearing my phone go off that I threw it outside, it's not like I needed the contact info of anyone in it anymore. After a sleepless night I made my way to the bank at the break of dawn. They asked me a bunch of questions, but they couldn't really stop me from moving all my money, and by law they couldn't reveal anything to my mother. As I made my way to the bus stop my mind drifted away, I was trying so hard not to think of Bellamy that without realizing it I found myself in front of the field where our graduation was being held. This was it, my last chance to turn around, I hesitated for a minute but then my resolve returned as I saw Bellamy with a girl around his neck. A different girl then the one I had found him in bed with, if it could have my heart would have broken all over again, but it was already in so many pieces I wasn't sure I would ever be able to put it back together again. 

-:-

Two months, I couldn’t believe it had already been two months since I packed up my life and moved to Chicago. I couldn’t say that I've never been happier because that would be a total lie; I was still recovering from my failed relationship with Bellamy. No matter how hard I thought about it I couldn't understand what had happened. One day we were happy then the next he's a completely different person. If this had been the old Bellamy I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but the new Bellamy, my Bellamy, was caring and gentle. It mattered to him if he caused pain to those around him, I couldn't understand why he had done this to me.

I pushed thoughts of Bellamy away as someone called out for more coffee, despite my best efforts I found myself thinking about him everyday even after all this time apart. Working helped to keep my mind occupied, but sometimes I wondered if I would ever get over this heartbreak.

Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to get into the art institute, they wrote back saying my application was past their deadline and there was nothing they could do. However they encouraged me to try again next year, and that based on the portfolio I had sent in with my application I had a lot of potential. They did, however, have night classes open to everybody. Upon hearing that I signed up for as many as I could knowing it would be a long summer if I didn't keep busy. This also meant that I needed to find a job, something flexible, that's how I ended up working for the Ark bar and grill. The pay was decent and the boss was a sweetheart, Kyle Wick, I had actually gotten the job thanks to my roommate Raven Reyes. They were completely and irrevocably in love with each other, no matter how much they tried to deny it, so much so that sometimes it was painful to watch them together.   

Raven didn't know the whole story, only that some guy had broken my heart and I had moved away. She keep telling me that it gets better with time, she had been through her fair share of shitty relationships so she was talking from experience. Her ex had actually cheated on her while she was away on a student exchange program. The worst part was that the girl he cheated on her with didn't even know he was seeing someone. A complete douchebag as she loved to call him when ever his name was brought up.

I hoped she was right because there was only a void in my heart at the moment.

If it hadn't been for meeting Raven on my first day in Chicago it might have been much worst. With her guidance I was able to make awesome friends, Monty and Jasper, had a place to stay and a good job. What else could I possibly ask for ...  _Bellamy._

Stop it Clarke, I will not think of him.

Tonight we were having a party to celebrate the end of the summer; college was just around the corner and everybody was excited to start, everyone except me. Monty claimed it was their last chance to party and get really drunk before school took over their lives; him and Jasper were both studying to be bioengineers so they had their work cut out for them. I had a feeling even with such a heavy workload they would find time to party.

For me it was the perfect opportunity to have my mind go blank for a few hours. I had always avoided going to their parties in the past two months, it reminded me too much of the last party I had been to, the one where Bellamy claimed me as his... _no more_. But this time I needed to drown my sorrows into something else than my own misery otherwise I would go crazy. I wasn't one to normally use alcohol as an escape but I needed a break. I needed to let loose if it was only for an evening. Tonight I was going to celebrate me, I had moved out on my own and was doing good, for someone like me that had everything handed to me my entire life that was quite the accomplishment and I was proud of the independent women I was becoming.  

When my shift ended at the grill I made my way over to their apartment, ready for a night of fun. As soon as I walked through the door I saw that Monty had made his cheesy nachos that I loved and I immediately jumped on them.

"Clarke slowdown there’s more than enough for everybody, is Raven feeding you properly it looks like you haven't eaten in days." 

"Are you kidding she always eats like this, honestly she’s even starting to gain a little weight, maybe we should call for an intervention."

"Oh yes! I love interventions; I'll mention how scared I get when I eat next to Clarke. Afraid that she'll mistake my hand for food." My god my friends were idiots, but they were my idiots and I loved them for being able to make me laugh.

Now that they mentioned it I had put on some weight recently, and my appetite had double in the past month or so, maybe I was developing an eating disorder because of all the stress I was under.

"If anybody needs an intervention it's the two of you, what kind of moonshine have you been making up recently? The two of you shouldn't be allowed to make all these crazy mixes."

"It's not like you've ever tried any."

"No, but I've heard enough stories from Raven to know I should stay far away from the stuff. You know like the time her and Wick almost kissed because they had one too many."

“I don’t know why you’re using that as a example, if anything it shows how awesome our moonshine is, we bring people together with it.”

“If it can almost get these two to finally admit that they like each other, I call it a win.”

“The three of you need to stop this I do not, I repeat do not, have feelings for Wick. He’s annoying, always thinks he has a solution for everything.”

“Look at her trying to cover her blush with denial.”

“Seriously Raven, why not let you’re guard down and give him a chance. Forget about the past and what Finn did to you, Wick is good.”

“Do not mention douchebag, and Clarke you’re really not in a position to be giving out romantic advice.” She was right, I understood how hard it was to trust someone with something as previous as your heart. Especially after haven had it broken before, but at the same time it was hard to watch two people who clearly cared for each other miss out on a chance to be happy.

“You’re right I’m sorry I brought it up, I’m going to go take a walk I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I needed some air, I knew bringing up Wick was risky since it always made me think of Bellamy, but I had to try to push her a little to thank her for everything she had done for me.

“Clarke don’t go I didn’t mean to yell. Come on I’ll even let you tease me about Wick drunk calling me last week.”

“Don’t worry about it Reyes I’m fine, I’m just feeling a little warm I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.” She reluctantly let me leave, the boys were staring at me a little confused as to my odd behavior, but they didn’t push the issue.

I hadn’t been lying, I was feeling a little warm, maybe I was coming down with something. As I exited the building I was suddenly hit by a wave of nausea, maybe Monty was right and I needed to slow down when eating. Then again it wasn’t the first time in the past month that I had been unable to keep my food down, it was almost as if I was … _holy shit!_ Pregnant it was almost as if I was pregnant and experiencing morning sickness.

No no no no no this couldn’t be right, I had my period recently, I must have or I would have noticed. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that since the move I hadn’t had my period, hadn’t needed to buy any tampons. I needed to calm down, this could all still be explained away by stress, a test that’s what I needed, until I was sure there was no point in having an emotional breakdown.

I probably should have waited until tomorrow, but I was too agitated to think straight at this point. So when I returned upstairs looking like an escaped mental patent and claiming I needed to leave they all immediately knew something was up.

“Clarke you can tell us, we’re your friends.”

“I know, and I’m grateful to have you guys, but I still don’t know what’s going on and I need to check something, I promise we’ll talk tomorrow.” I didn’t wait for an answer before leaving, knowing them they would get me to tell them what was wrong and saying it out loud was too frightening a thought.

I ran to the nearest pharmacy and grabbed the first pregnancy test I could find. It took me a good two hours after arriving back at the apartment until I gathered enough courage to actually complete the test. And I probably would still be staring blankly at the box if Raven hadn’t returned home early.

“I was worried about you, you haven’t looked this scared since that first day I met you. Tell me what’s going on.” I slowly moved my hands away from each other, they had been holding onto the pregnancy test so firmly that the box was slightly bent.

“Clarke what’s that…oh my god is that a pregnancy test?”

“Yes.” My voice was only a whisper.

“Have you taken it?”

“No.”

“Ok well that’s the first step whatever comes afterwards we’ll deal with it, ok?”

“Ok.”

I know it must probably sound cliché but that was by far the longest minute in my entire life, I couldn’t bring myself to look at the test once my alarm rang, so Raven was the one who ended up announcing that I was pregnant. It took me another good hour to realize the implications of that information. I was going to have a baby. I was carrying Bellamy’s baby and he didn’t know. Would it change something when he found out? Would I get to see him again? Did I want to see him again?

“I have to tell him.”

“You probably should.” I could tell Raven was doing her best to avoid asking the most important question of them all, was I going to keep it? She probably wanted to give me time to think about it, but I knew from the minute the words _it’s positive_ left her mouth I knew I was going to keep it. I didn’t know the first thing about being a good mother, it’s not like I had a great example growing up, but from the minute I found out I had a little baby growing inside of me I grew protective of him or her, I would do anything to protect this child as any good mother should.

“He didn’t grow up with a father, knowing him he’s going to want to be involved. No matter what he did I can’t keep this from him.” But I couldn’t call; hearing is voice would be too much I wasn’t ready. Hadn’t had enough time to get over him, if we were going to raise a child together I needed to be able to put my feelings aside. I decided to write him a letter that would at least give me a few days to get used to the idea of becoming a mother and that Bellamy might be returning into my life.

However, weeks past without him trying to reach out to me, I had left my address in the letter hoping he would show up at my door telling me he would be there for me, at the very least I had expected a letter, or any kind of response. But when the fifth week ended without any news from him I had to come to the conclusion that he didn’t care, about me or about his child. Raven send out a second letter, calling him all kinds of names and telling him that he wasn’t even a man if he couldn’t bring himself to even come tell me to my face that he didn’t want anything to do with me and the baby. Even after that Bellamy remained radio silent, and I began to realize that I would have to raise this child on my own.

Of course Monty, Jasper and Raven claimed that I wasn’t alone and that they would be with me every step of the way, and as much as I appreciated the sentiment it wasn’t the same. My baby would never get to know it’s father and I couldn’t forgive him for that.

On my first doctors appointment Monty came with me acting all-nervous as if he was the father, I think he was trying to make me feel better and not let the other couples judge me for being alone. The doctor confirmed the day the baby was conceived and as I had suspected it was late April. The day Bellamy had received his first college acceptance letter, I had been so proud of him that day and we had both gotten a little too carried away forgetting to use protection. This meant the baby was due in February of next year, giving me plenty of time to get organized before applying for school again.

-:-

At five months pregnant I was slowly gaining more confidence in myself and my ability to raise this baby on my own when my world shifted again. Monty and I were out pumpkin shopping when I heard someone call my name.

_Octavia_

“Clarke.” She looked between Monty and I glancing at my large belly at regular intervals. She looked confused, which meant she didn’t know I was pregnant. Bellamy hadn’t said anything; I wondered if I should lie about whom the father was. She clearly thought that it was Monty if the glares she was sending him where any indications.

“Is that why you left? To be with someone else, shit you must be at least a couple of months pregnant, how could you do this to Bell.”

“What?” She didn’t know why I left, what the fuck Bellamy, did you put all the blame on me? Did she think I cheated on _him_?

“Look I don’t know who you are or how you’re related to the bastard that cheated on her after knocking her up, but for the record Clarke didn’t do anything wrong.” Well I guess lying was out of the question now, by the look on Octavia’s face my suspicions were confirmed she had no idea Bellamy was the father.

“The baby, it’s Bellamy’s?”

“Yes.”

“And he knows?”

“I sent him a letter to let him know and he never did anything about it.”

“I’m going to kill that bastard.” We would still need to talk about everything that had happened, especially since Bellamy had clearly been keeping things from her, but in that moment I was just glad to have my friend with me.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you for all the reviews, the last chapter clearly left many of you surprised. So I feel I should explain a few things. This story was originally inspired by a prompt given to me; Clarke moves away, and when she settles in her new place, FAR away from Bellamy, she finds out she’s pregnant.   
> At first I didn’t know what to do with this idea, because I normally only write happy stories and this one would involve a little heartbreak. After weeks of thinking it over I came up with this story. I know many of you are really pissed at Bellamy, and perhaps angry at me for not including him in this chapter, but remember I have a plan for this story…so please have faith in me a little longer. Next chapter will be Bellamy’s point of you and we will find out what really happened, I can’t guarantee you’ll all will be satisfied with the explanation, but I will try my best.   
> Hopefully I don’t lose to many readers with this pregnancy twist, for me it was always the end game, but since I wanted it to be a surprised I tried not to give it away early on in the story.   
> Please leave a review, I would love to hear what you think of this chapter, especially since so many of you were vocal about that last one I’m curious to see if you like it.


	10. Meddlesome creature

I was growing more apprehensive by the minute waiting for a chance to talk to Octavia one on one. But first I had needed to go back to the boy’s apartment to get my stuff and drop off the pumpkin.

“I can’t believe she thought Monty was the father.” When we showed up with Octavia, Jasper had been all over us asking question about who she was, of course out of the whole story the part that suck out the most to him was the accusation Octavia had directed towards me and Monty being together.

“Hey I’m offended by that comment, I would make an amazing father, right Clarke?” Or maybe he knew exactly what he was doing, lightening the mood by focusing on something irrelevant instead of brining attention to the fact that the sister of my baby’s father was standing in his apartment.

“Of course you would, Jasper leave Monty alone.”

“Yes mom, should I go lock myself in my room as punishment.”

“Very funny Jasper.”

“What it’s not my fault if you’re already acting like a mom.”

“If the two of you stopped acting like children I wouldn’t have so much practice.” I heard Octavia giggle behind me, bringing me back to reality. “I guess we should get going we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“If you need anything call us.”

“Don’t worry boys she’s in good hands, I’ll return her in one piece.” Despite her words they both were a little apprehensive at letting me leave with Octavia. I had explained to both of them that she was my friend, but for them she was the sister of enemy number one.

During the short walk back to my place, Octavia caught me up on her life a little. She was in Chicago visiting colleges; she didn’t want to move so far away from home but the university of Chicago had some interesting programs and offered many scholarship opportunities. Lincoln had accompanied her on the tour, but had to stay back at the hotel to finish an assignment for school while she explored the city. She asked a few questions about the pregnancy, but I could tell she was holding herself back, probably waiting for me to tell her the whole story.

As soon as we stepped into my apartment I let out the question I had been holding in since realizing that she didn’t know why I had left town.

“What exactly did Bellamy tell you?”

“Nothing, that’s the thing he hasn’t talked about you since you left. And even before that, the week before your graduation he was acting incredibly strange.”

“I remember, I barely got to see him that week and when I did he was distant and barely even talked to me.”

“Exactly he was doing the same to me, and then out of nowhere, on the day of the graduation ceremony, he started acting like his old arrogant self. I couldn’t understand what was happening and neither could Lincoln. When I got home and saw your letter I was even more confused.” My letter to Octavia had been really simple; _thank you for being my friend and I wish you the best in life but I can’t stay here any longer so this is goodbye._ “When I showed it to Bellamy his entire face drained of its color and he left the apartment in a rush. Since that day he’s been moody and angry with everybody. My mom and I keep asking about what happened, but he won’t tell us anything. We were worried about you.”

“That didn’t stop you from thinking I had cheated on him.”

“I’m sorry, but when I saw you and Monty together I couldn’t help but assume the worst. Bellamy’s been acting heartbroken for the past couple of months, barely comes home anymore and when I do get the chance to see him he looks terrible as if he hasn’t been sleeping.  I should have known that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.”

It didn’t make any sense, why was Bellamy acting like that? Was he consumed by guilt? Did he regret his actions? Then why not contact me once he got my letter, was he too ashamed? As I recounted the events of that horrible day to Octavia I hoped that she could shed some light on the situation, but she was as clueless as I was. She was angry with her brother as she learned about his cavalier attitude towards me, and couldn’t understand what had caused him to return to his old habits. The only person that had the answers to my questions was miles away. However, he was about to get a very angry phone call from his sister, hopefully with her help we would get to the bottom of this.

-:-

**_Four months ago…_ **

I cursed under my breath as I saw the light turn red, I was already running late and it seemed the entire universe was working against me. Clarke was waiting for me and I was excited to share the news of my acceptance at a pretty decent college in Connecticut. I knew she was still struggling with her decision of which school to attend, but I knew Yale was still a strong contender. Not only did her mother go there, but if she ever got to courage to pursue art they also had a pretty good program.

College had never been a huge concern of mine, but after actually being able to get my grades back up I realized that studying wasn’t so bad after all. I was even considering going into teaching of all things. Clarke liked to point out that it wasn’t thanks to her that I changed, that I always had the potential in me. And on some level she might be right, but if it weren’t for her I never would have found the motivation to want to be better. The reality was that the person you were with was meant to encourage you to be your best possible self without trying to change you and that’s what Clarke had done for me. My hope was that one day I could inspire her to do the same and find her own path in life that didn’t revolve around pleasing her mother.  

As I entered the café, Clarke was nowhere to be seen, instead I was surprised to find her mother sipping an espresso and looking out of place in her overpriced clothes. I hadn’t met Abby yet, Clarke made sure our paths never crossed. At first I thought it was because Clarke was ashamed of me, which made me angry. I had welcomed her into my life, introduced her to my sister and mother and she was keeping me away from the only family she had left. When I confronted her about it, she explained she was protecting me and the more I learned about Abby the more I understood what she meant. Her mother was a very strict woman and without Clarke’s father to balance her out she had become very controlling of Clarke. I couldn’t imagine what she would do to me if she ever found out Clarke was involved with me, and I had hoped I wouldn’t have to find out for a least a few years until I was ready to make an honest women out of Clarke. Unfortunately my luck had come to an end and for the first time I was about to face the fury that was Abby Griffin.

“No need to look for Clarke she’s not coming, I stole her phone in order to get you to meet me.” I had a bad feeling about this; if she felt no regret at taking her daughter’s phone to lure her boyfriend out what else did she have up her sleeve. “It has recently come to my attention that you and my daughter are involved. Is that correct?”

I wanted to lie, I felt I needed to do so in order to protect us, but Abby was smart if she took the trouble of setting up this meeting it was because she already knew about us, denying it might anger her more.

“We are.”

“I’m guessing you love my daughter and you think the two of you have a future together.”

“I do, and I understand why you felt the need to come out and meet me. But there is no need to warn me not to ruin Clarke future I have no intentions of doing that. If Clarke goes to Yale I’m not going to hold her back, rest assured.” Clarke had warned me her mother hated when people interfered with her plans, so I was hoping that by telling her in good faith that I would support Clarke no matter where she decided to go that she would just leave it at that.

“You think you’re both being so clever, acting like nothing’s change while scheming behind my back.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Don’t act dumb, I know she applied for the art program at Yale. Was she planning on lying to me for the next couple of years hoping I wouldn’t realize that she’s not going to become a doctor.”

“I didn’t know.” I was trying to keep a poker face, but I was so proud of Clarke at that moment that it was proving rather difficult to keep the smile off my face.

“And I’m queen Elizabeth, _don’t_ take me for a fool.”

“I swear I didn’t know she had applied for the art program. I knew that she was torn between her passion and your ambitions for her, but she didn’t tell me anything.”

“If she was torn it’s because you made her that way, put ideas in her head that shouldn’t be there. Clarke will become a doctor, that was always the plan.” This women was completely delusional, it’s like she didn’t know Clarke at all, even my mother knew how much Clarke loved to paint and draw. How could her own mother be completely oblivious?

“It doesn’t matter anymore because once you break up with her, she will return to her senses.” _Completely delusional,_ there was no way she could ever convince me to leave Clarke. 

“I have no intention of breaking up with Clarke, so you’ve wasted a trip.”

“Please you didn’t think I would come unprepared. People like you only ever want one thing from people like Clarke.”

“And what’s that?”

“Money, so what I’m going to do is write a big fat cheque for you to leave my daughter’s life for good. Easiest money you’ve ever made, that’s probably what you were after from the start.” I loved Clarke, but right in front of me was the reason why I hated rich people and why I had tormented her so much before I got to know her. Always thinking they’re above others and that everything can be bought with money.

“I’m sorry but I’m not for sell.” I keep my voice stern hoping she would see how serious I was. I could feel my refusal was frustrating her, clearly she hadn’t expected me to put up a fight.

“Playing hardball are we? I’ll double the money, maybe this way you can send your sister to a decent college. Consider this carefully boy, because you’re not going to like what comes next if you refuse.”

“My sister will manage fine without your filthy money. I love Clarke and I’m going to protect her and her dreams.” I slid the cheque back towards her and as I looked up she was so red with anger it felt like she was a volcano about to erupt. She collected herself before glaring back at me.

“That’s a nice sentiment and all, but you don’t have what it takes to protect her and how are you going to protect her when you can’t even take care of your own family.” I was confused, what did my family have to do with this? She smirked at my bewildered expression, as she placed the cheque back into her purse.

“I’ll say this in terms you can understand, because you clearly look very confused. You either break up with Clarke within the week or I will destroy your family. Telling all my friends that your mother’s a thief won’t be very difficult and once the rumors spread she’ll have a very hard time finding a job. And your precious sister still so young and innocent, I’ll make sure she can’t get into any decent schools.” She couldn’t be serious, this wasn’t a movie, real people didn’t act like this.

“You’re an evil women, they haven’t done anything to you.”

“I will do anything to protect my daughters future, she was born to privilege and she deserves better than the life she will have if she stays with you. The choice is yours, but think about it carefully are you really going to risk your family’s happiness over a high school romance with an uncertain future.”

How was it even possible that Clarke had managed to grow up into someone so kind and open-minded with someone like this as her role model? Five minutes in her company and my entire world was being destroyed. How was I even supposed to make this kind of choice, Clarke owned my heart life without her seemed grim and I knew despite Abby’s words that we had a future together. But how could I be selfish and keep Clarke if it meant everybody else I loved would have to struggle to survive.

“You should have taken the money.” That was the last thing she said to me before walking out. Leaving me uncertain as to what I should do next.

I couldn’t go home and talk to my mom or Octavia because they would likely put my happiness before their own, so I ended up driving to Miller’s for advice. Murphy would probably be thrilled by the news using it as a way to convince me that Clarke and I were from two different worlds and that we didn’t belong together. Miller on the other hand liked Clarke so he would be more objective.

“Fuck that women is a complete bitch.”

“No kidding. What do I do now?” Miller was staring at me with a look of pity; I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like his answer.

“What would Clarke do?” My heart sank at his words; I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself but knowing Clarke she would never want to be responsible for the hardships of others, and if we stayed together two people I knew she had come to care for would suffer. “Just tell her the truth, she’ll understand that you have to protect your family, maybe give her mom time to cool down and get back together.”

“When? In a few years? When Clarke becomes a doctor? No after seeing her mother it’s clear that she’ll never accept us. I can’t do that to her, live in limbo like that unsure of our future, hoping that one day we might be able to be together.”

“What other option do you have, if you break up with her with no explanation she’s going to know something’s up.” There was only one thing to do, I needed to break her heart and make her break up with me. It might sound like a cruel thing to do, but it was to give her, her best chance at being happy someday. She would get over me, move on and find someone else. That very idea broke my heart, but I was stuck regardless of what decision I made someone was going to get hurt.

I called Abby to let her know I would do as she asked, but that she better make sure Clarke lived a happy life or I would return in her life and take her away. I was just bluffing of course, there was no way Clarke would ever take me back after what I had planned to push her away.

Abby told me that she was going to confront Clarke about our relationship later that week and that Clarke was likely to come looking for me, I was to break it off with her at that moment, when she was at her worst. I honestly didn’t know who was the cruelest person at this point; Abby for thinking up a way to make her daughter so miserable that she would run back home to her or me for agreeing to go along with it.

The week following my conversation with Abby was pure torture. I should have enjoyed my last moments with Clarke, but guilt was eating me up from inside and I couldn’t even look at her without feeling terrible. Everyday I wanted to tell her the truth, but I kept reminding myself of the consequences if I did. Once the time came I made sure to get my mom and Octavia out of thehouse, sending them to the spa. After that I only needed one more piece to complete my deceit. I walked over to my next-door neighbor hoping I could convince her to help.

“I need you to pretend you and I sleep together.” She looked at me utterly confused; I was really hoping she would agree to this because she was my only option. I could have asked any girl from school, but somehow I felt that would be worst and then rumors about Clarke would start flying around again and I didn’t want to cause her more pain. My neighbor, Harper, was in her late 20s, but she looked young enough that anyone would buy that we slept together.

Once I explained the situation she looked at me with sad eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this? In my experience girls that get cheated on aren’t very forgiving, if you do this you might blow any chance with her in the future.”

“I know, but if I don’t she might keep hope about us getting back together and not let herself fall in love again. If I can’t be with her, I at least want to make it so she goes to someone else, instead of pinning over me.”

“I’ll do it, but for the record it’s a terrible idea.”

We waited in my apartment until I got the call from Abby saying Clarke was on her way.  Then we both got undressed, keeping our underwear on. She got into the bed and I spread our stuff all over the apartment for effect, leaving the door slightly open for Clarke to walk in without knocking.

This was it, I knew it was going to hurt but I wasn’t prepared for the look of total despair that Clarke had on when she found us in bed. Feeling my own heart break at the sight of her in so much pain I called out to her out of habit, halfway up to run after her when Harper pulled me back down.

“If you chase after her now you’ll make it worst, you’ll give her hope that you still care. You came up with this plan at this point the best thing to do is to carry it through.” She was right of course, after seeing her out I sank to the floor unable to stop the tears that were flowing out of me.

When Octavia and my mother returned home I stayed in my room unable to move, they must have sensed my mood because I only needed to tell them once I wasn’t feeling well and they left me alone for the rest of the night. I spent a restless night with nightmares about Clarke being in trouble and calling out for me, but I was unable to go after her trapped in a room with Abby laughing at me. I had every intention of bailing on the ceremony, Clarke was giving the valedictorian speech and I feared if I showed up she would be too miserable. However, after hearing the voicemail Abby left me I changed my mind. She was asking if everything had gone according to plan, she was worried I had backed out because Clarke still hadn’t returned home.

That woke me up pretty fast; worried about Clarke I got dressed, I needed to see that she was all right. She didn’t have any friends, apart from Octavia and if she had gone to Miller he would have told me. If something happened to her because of me I would never forgive myself, I was slowly starting to realize how stupid this whole thing was, Abby couldn’t possibly have that much power maybe I could convince my mom and Octavia to move so they could be safe.

Once I got to the ceremony location it was already packed with people, I was frantically looking for Clarke but there was no sign of her. I bumped into Miller and his cousin Maya; he took one look at me and knew that I must have carried out my plan. Maya unaware jumped in my arms happy to see me. I couldn’t blame her whenever she visited Miller the three of us always hanged out together. She couldn’t have known that behind the brave face I was trying to keep in place I was slowly failing to pieces. I barely had the energy to hug back, but I figured the faster I got over the pleasantries with her the faster I could go back to searching for Clarke.

An hour into the ceremony I realized she hadn’t come. When they called out her name to come and give her speech and she didn’t show up I realized how badly I had screwed up. I made it back to my apartment completely defeated, my mom was going on about how handsome I looked and how proud she was of me, I tried to smile at her but my heart wasn’t into it. The only reason I was able to graduate was because of Clarke and she hadn’t been there. I was sinking further and further into depression when Octavia burst into my room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, and why the hell did I just get a letter from Clarke telling me goodbye.”

“What?” I grabbed the paper out of her hands reading it over quickly. The words _can’t stay_ and _this is goodbye_ popped out immediately. Clarke’s mother had miscalculated; Clarke didn’t go running back to her. Instead she was running away pushed past her breaking point by the two people that should have been protecting her.

I needed to fix this, even if Clarke never forgave me I needed her to know that what she had witness wasn’t real, that the two of us were real. Fear of the consequences for my family had driven me to listen to Clarke’s mother. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that part of me had been afraid Abby was right, that I was destroying Clarke’s life. I should have had more faith in her, more faith in us. I would never repeat that same mistake again if she ever gave me the chance to be with her again.

I was trying to contain my anger at Abby and at myself as I knocked violently on Clarke’s front door. A stunned Abby answered.

“You said you would keep her happy and now she’s ran away.” I threw the letter she had given Octavia in her face. “Now I’m going to find her and make sure she’s happy and you better stay out of my way.” I was expecting her to remain impassive, but as she read over the letter her features turned into a panic. I didn’t let that stop my rant.  

“She deserves better than you as her mother, you should have support her instead of trying to control her life and now she’s gone perhaps out of reach to both of us forever.” Once I was done giving her a piece of my mind I left her there alone to pounder over her actions.

I tried reaching Clarke, but she wasn’t answering her phone. I left message after message hoping to convince her to come back home. On my 19th attempt she finally picked up and my heart skipped a beat, but it was a male voice. He claimed he had found the phone in the parking lot of a motel. Whether she had dropped it or left it behind on purposed didn’t matter at this point, the fact that she didn’t have her phone meant that I had no way of telling her I was sorry.

Two days after she left the reality was slowly sinking in, I wasn’t going to be able to find her. For days all I did was work, sleep and eat. Whenever I was around O and my mom I tried to act as normal as possible, but I could tell they knew something was wrong. I picked up a second job in order to avoid them; I couldn’t stand the looks they were giving me. I couldn’t tell them about Clarke or what had happen because they would feel partly responsible. They couldn’t ever find out the truth, this was my mistake I would need to fix it on my own.

I eventually settled on a local college to attend in the fall, I was feeling unmotivated by the whole idea of going to college but I felt I owed it to Clarke and her hard work. Abby eventually got in touch with me, she didn’t apology for her actions but I could tell by the sound of her voice she was worried about Clarke. She was calling to let me know that Clarke had left with her money so there was a strong chance that she was planning on attending school in the fall. She had already called all the colleges she knew Clarke had applied to with no luck; she was hoping I knew of others where she could look.

I lied and said I didn’t, I had failed to protect Clarke from her mother once I wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake again. I called all the remaining school on the list myself, but Clarke remained nowhere to be found. This made me work twice as hard; I needed to make extra cash to hire a private investigator or something. Time seemed to slow without Clarke, but I was determined to find her. Miller was trying his best to cheer me up; but it was no use apart from working I didn’t have the motivation for anything else. When school started in September I tried my best but I was struggling to keep up with everything.

I could tell my mother was getting worried about me, which is why I was glad I had decided to get a dorm room. Murphy and I were in the same room together; it was nice to be able to get away from the constant looks of concern I was getting at home. I could tell every time I saw Octavia she was dying to ask me about what had happened between Clarke and I, even Lincoln had tried to get information out of me, but I remained silent.

Miller and I were studying, preparing for midterms that were coming up when Murphy barged into the library like he owed the place.

“Guys come on its Saturday afternoon, we should be out having fun instead of surrounded by dusty books. I heard about this party being thrown at one of the sorority houses.”

“Sorry Murphy, but if I don’t pass this exam I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail this class. I can’t afford to go out.”

“Please even if you didn’t have to study you wouldn’t come, I thought that once you got rid of Clarke you would go back to your old self, but now all you want to do is be left alone in your own self pity.” I wasn’t surprised at his words, he had been supportive at first of my heartbreak, but he quickly tired of taking care of my emotional baggage, as he liked to put it.

“Good grief Murphy.”

“Forget it Miller, he’s right I haven’t returned to my old self nor do I have any intention of doing so. I was an arrogant ass in the past, I much prefer the person I am now.” Even if all I do is mop around all day, but I keep that last part for myself.

“At least you were fun.”

“There are more important things in life than having fun.”

Miller sent me an apologetic smile, as Murphy turned his attention towards him. Since I had declined he was now trying to convince Miller to go out with him. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocked and I took it out to check the caller ID. _Octavia_ , I had too much studying to do to worry about coming up with excuses as to why I hadn’t come home to visit in the last month so I ignored her call. It wasn’t the first time I had resorted to screening my calls in order to avoid her, but this time she wasn’t taking no for an answer. She called three more times, before sending me a text.

**I found Clarke pick up your goddam phone.**

_She found Clarke_ , that’s the only thought I had in my mind as I walked out of the library in order to be able to speak with her freely, ignoring Miller and Murphy’s calls.

I didn’t give her a chance to say anything when she picked up I had too many question.

“Where is she? Can I see her now? How much does she hate me right now?”

“No, I’m sorry big brother but you don’t get to ask questions right now.” She sounded angry, of course Clarke had probably told her what I had done, or what she thought I had done. “How could you do that to her, she loved you so much.”

 _Loved,_ past tense, was I too late? Was Clarke lost to me forever?

“I know O, but there are circumstances that you aren’t aware of.”

“I don’t care what the circumstances are, you screwed up. And if that wasn’t bad enough, ignoring her letter was an excusable low.” Letter, I didn’t get any letter, what was she taking about? Had Clarke reached out to me?

“Octavia I understand you’re mad, and you can yell at me some more, but I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t get any letter.” I don’t know what made Octavia calm down but as she heard my words her anger seem to dissipate a little. She explained that Clarke had mailed me a letter in August and then a friend of hers had sent another one a few weeks after that. I knew my mother had been forwarding my mail to school so I should have gotten everything, and in August I was still at home so there was no reason for me not to have received it.

“Son of a bitch, Murphy!” I hadn’t felt this angry since I had confronted Abby about Clarke’s disappearance.

“What does Murphy have to do with this?” I suddenly recalled my mom telling me she had given Murphy a letter addressed to me when he had showed up unexpectedly at my place, I had been staying at Miller for a few days, so she didn’t know when I was going to return home. Murphy had never given me anything, when I questioned him he had claimed it was advertisement and had gotten rid of it.

That was months ago, I could have been with Clarke all this time. He was going to pay, but first I needed to know that Clarke was all right.

“I think he got rid of the letter, it doesn’t matter, I’ll deal with him later. How’s Clarke? What was in the letter? Does she want to see me?” Octavia remained silent on the other side of the line; I could hear her whispering to someone that was probably with her. Was that Clarke? Could she hear my voice?

“Bell she’s pregnant and it’s yours.” It took a few seconds for the information to sink in, but once it did my first thoughts were of happiness until I realized that Clarke’s been dealing with a pregnancy on her own with no support.

She was never going to forgive me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so finally you have Bellamy’s explanation. I felt so bad after reading your comments to leave you with a cliffhanger that I’ve been working on this as fast as I could. I’m not sure how you guys are going to react to this. From the comments it seemed a lot of you had different expectations of how this would go. I know its impossible to please everybody, but I hope this explanation at least make most of you less angry at Bellamy.   
> And if you find Abby over the top you can blame my overconsumption of Korean dramas. I never intended for Bellamy to cheat on Clarke, as many of you pointed out it would have been out of character. A quick congratulation to Atheandra who pointed out that Abby was involved in someway.   
> We’re still not back to being lovey-dovey, Bellamy still has some explaining to do and despite his intentions who knows how Clarke will react to the truth…ok I know, but I’m not telling ;)   
> Lastly, the scene with Bellamy in bed with the girl was inspired by an episode of Roswell, The end of the world. I couldn’t say anything before on the off chance that some of you have seen the show.   
> Thank you for all the reviews. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well.


	11. I'll run to you

“I’ll be on the next flight out, just tell me where she is.” Octavia remained silent for a while, but I could hear her taking to someone in the background, this solidified my belief that she was with Clarke. 

“I’ll text you the information.”

“O, I know you’re really disappointed in me right now, but I swear I’ll fix it. I don’t know how, but I will make this better.”

“I’m not sure if you can Bell, you broke her heart. She’s agreed to speak with you because of the baby, but I don’t think the two of you have a future.” Despite currently being mad at me Octavia was still trying to spare my feelings by letting me down easy, but it didn’t help. The hurt of knowing Clarke and I probably didn’t have a chance was unbearable. Which made me feel even worst, because Clarke had been feeling this pain for months now, because of me. 

Self-pity wouldn’t do me any good right now; I needed to get to Clarke now.

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” I ran back into the library in order to retrieve my bag, making a mental list of everything I needed to get done before I could get to the airport.

I wanted to be fast and efficient in order to get to Clarke as fast as possible. I knew Octavia was looking at schools in Chicago, so if I was lucky and able to find a flight leaving in the afternoon I could be reunited with Clarke before the day was through.  

“Yo Bellamy what the yell happened, did you see a girl you fancy and just couldn’t stop yourself?” How dare he be so happy after causing Clarke and I so much pain? I wasn’t sure what had pushed Murphy to hide that letter from me. I wonder if he had even bothered to read it before deciding to throw away my future with Clarke. All I knew was that he needed to pay for his actions.

I was a pretty decent fighter, but so was Murphy. Unfortunately for him I caught him completely off guard by shoving him off his chair. He never got a chance to recover from the shock as I maintained the upper by pressing my knee into his chest and keeping him on the ground. I kept punching him, blinded by anger; thank god Miller managed to pull me off, without him I don’t think I would have stopped until Murphy was unconscious. 

“How could you, you son of a bitch, how could you keep Clarke from me? You had no right.”

Murphy, with the help of a chair, managed to get back on his feet. Miller was still holding me back, probably afraid that I wasn’t finished with him.

“I did it for you, she would have ruined your life Blake. A child at 18, you should be thanking me.”

“It wasn’t your place, she needed me and I wasn’t there for her because of you. Be honest for once, this was never about me, you were jealous I was getting my life together and wanted me to stay behind just like you.”

“You’ve always thought that you were better than me, even when we were younger. And then you go and get yourself attached to the princess, who you told everybody to stay away from. If it wasn’t for you I might have made a move and then I would have gotten to sleep with the rich girl and lived the life I deserved.” Self entitle bastard, what did he think, that I was with Clarke just because of her money? That explained his attitude towards Miller when he declared he wanted Clarke. Murphy had always been jealous, he wanted something he couldn’t have and he took it out on others. But of course it was never about Clarke, it was about her money and the fact that Murphy had nothing.  I was blind for years as to Murphy’s true nature, I should have known better.

“You already live the life you deserve Murphy, the life of a parasite.” This was it the end of our friendship, and honestly the only attachment I had left with my old life. Miller like me had matured with the start of college. Realized how foolish we were in high school acting like we were the kings of the world and that we could get away with anything. Now faced with the real world he was working hard to find his own happiness. Murphy on the other hand still thought he was entitled to everything without having to put in any work. I was done being dragged down by him.

“Bellamy you can’t just leave like that, we’re friends, we’ve always been friends whatever he did I’m sure we can work it out.” I wasn’t going to make Miller choose between us, but forgiving Murphy simply wasn’t an option.

“Clarke’s pregnant with my child, Murphy knew and he knew where she was, I can’t forgive him for this.” Miller’s face twisted in disgust at the news. Not because he learned I was going to be a father, but because like me he couldn’t believe what Murphy had done. Turns out I didn’t need to make him choose, upon hearing the truth he was ready to leave Murphy behind as well. 

After packing my stuff and calling the airline for a ticket I was ready to go. I found Miller standing outside my door, a bag on the floor next to him and a pair of keys dangling from his fingers.

“Come on, I’m driving.”

“You’ve got exams on Monday, you don’t need to come with me.”

“Clarke was my friend too, I’d like to apologies in person for not stopping you. I knew you were going to do something stupid in order to protect your family, I could have stopped you, but I didn’t.”

“Don’t you dare feel guilty about what happened. I should have listened to you and told her the truth, everything that happened was because of the choices I made. I’m not going to let you shoulder the blame.”

“Why not? That’s what friends are for.” He didn’t give me a chance to argue, grabbing my stuff and leaving me with a bewildered expression on my face.  Murphy might have been a shitty friend, but Miller was the best I could ask for. Despite having liked Clarke he had accepted us and gotten to know her. He’d been by my side at my worst and was still cheering me on to go after Clarke. I hoped one day I could return the favor.

The flight to Chicago was pure torture. It was as if the closer I got to Clarke the more nervous I got. I couldn’t help myself from imagining the worst-case scenarios. Having her refuse to see me entirely was by far what I feared most, not even getting the chance to explain myself and apologies was not something I thought I could live with.

But I trusted Octavia; she wouldn’t have called me to let me know about the pregnancy if Clarke was going to turn me away when I got there. She might not be thrilled to see me, but I had to believe she would at least let me talk to her.

Miller tried his best to talk about random things to keep my mind off Clarke, but nothing was helping. From the moment I read Octavia’s text to this moment, standing in front of her apartment, it was like my whole body was in overdrive and the only thing that would make me stop and calm down was Clarke.

I stared at her door for a few minutes before gathering the courage to knock. I held by breath as I heard some movement behind the door. My heart fell a little as Octavia opened the door.

“You made it.”

“Did you doubt I would?”

“Normally I would say no, but I’ve been hearing a lot of things lately I didn’t think you were capable of, so I really don’t know.”

“O.” 

“It’s fine, I’m not the one that was hurt. You should prepare yourself, Clarke’s not in there alone, she has three friends with her that would do anything for her so be careful what you say or this could end very badly for you.” She greeted Miller, before fully opening the door and letting us in.

The first thing I noticed was her blue eyes shinning with fury.  Then there was the bump on her belly which made her look even more frightening. She was like a mama bears ready for anything to protect her cub. She had never been as beautiful as right now. Finally when I finally detached my eyes from Clarke I saw she was flanked by a girl and two boys who were wearing similar expressions of anger mixed with distrust.

Miller remained silent next to me, but I noticed how Clarke’s eyes soften a little when he greeted her with a nod. I had so many things to say to her, but looking at her now no words came out. I fell to my knees and let the tears that I had been bottling up fall down my cheeks. The room remained silent until the brown-haired girl that was sitting next to Clarke broke it.

“You can cut the act, if you felt this bad about your actions you would have found a way to find Clarke to apologies.” Miller was about to speak up, to defend me, but I raised my hand in front of him to stop him.

“Can I speak with Clarke alone?” Four pairs of eyes turned towards me throwing daggers in my direction, it appeared even my little sister was reluctant to leave me alone with Clarke.

“I understand you all want to kill me right now, but this is between Clarke and I. She can give you a play by play of the discussion after, but for now I need to speak with her.” Clarke looked at her friends one by one before finally nodding her approval. It seemed I wasn’t the only one that was having trouble finding my voice. 

“No way, I’m staying.” I knew my sister, she wasn’t going to make this easy, but I couldn’t have her in the room and tell Clarke the whole truth. If Octavia or my mom ever found out they were part of the reason for my actions, even if it wasn’t their fault, they would feel some sense of responsibility and I refused to let her feel any guilt over my stupid actions. 

“Someone can stay behind if that makes you feel better, but it can’t be you.” She was outraged, but I was standing my ground. “Not matter what I say O, part of you is still going to be on my side because you’re my sister. The person that stays with Clarke needs to be there for her 100%. Whoever stays can judge and yell at me for as long as they want afterwards, but for now just give me a chance to explain.” Without a single word being exchanged, the girl came to stand next to Clarke. She gave her a hug before moving to another position in the living room. She was giving us space, but remained near enough to be there if Clarke needed her too. 

The boys left the room, after threatening to harm me if anything were to happen to Clarke. I was glad for that, because it showed that Clarke had people that looked out for her when I was unable to.

“Clarke you don’t have to believe me or forgive me, but what I’m about to tell you is the truth and I promise to spend the rest of my life making up for all the mistakes I’ve done.” She remained silent, but I could see her hands trembling a little.

Well here goes nothing. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little shorter, but I wanted to write a little more in Bellamy’s point of view before moving on to Clarke and see how she reacts to his confession.
> 
> Thank you again for all the reviews you guys are great! I’m glad you were pleased with the turn of events and that your anger has moved from Bellamy to Abby be warned we haven’t seen the last of her.


	12. I love you still

The room was silent, Bellamy had just finish telling me his story, which in all honestly felt more like the plot of a bad movie rather than real life, and I was having trouble processing all the information.

 

Part of me could understand why he had acted the way he did, he was trying to protect his family. The other part of me was still furious, why couldn’t he protect me as well if he loved me so much? Why did he have to cause me so much pain? I had always believed our relationship was strong enough to overcome the differences in our upbringing. But the way he reacted to my mother’s threats, thinking he didn’t deserve me and that I would be better off without him, made me worry that if I decided to forgive him the fact that I came from money and he didn’t would always hang over us.

 

And if this wasn’t bad enough, my own mother was responsible for all the pain and suffering I had gone through in the past couple of months.

 

And then their was the part of me that couldn’t help but be happy, he loved me, always had. He didn’t betray me and the last months had been just as difficult and painful for him as it had been for me.

 

As I was trying to make sense of all my feelings Bellamy was standing awkwardly in the living room as Raven continued to glare at him.

 

“I don’t expect you to just forgive me, no mater what the reasons were behind my actions they remain my actions. All I ask is that you leave out the part about Octavia and my mother when you tell Octavia what happened. She’ll blame herself when the only one responsible for all this is me.”

 

“And my mother.” It was only a whisper, the first words I had dared to speak in front of him. I could see from the way his whole body relaxed that my silence had made him very tense. And he was right if Octavia found out it would hurt her, and if Bellamy’s mom were to find out it would be worse, she would probably feel it was her fault for coming from nothing. In this aspect he was right, these two amazing people needed to be protected, it made it very hard for me to hate Bellamy when all he was doing was keep safe two people I would also probably do anything for.  

 

I just wish he would have turned to me instead of hurting me, we could have found a way together.

 

“You’re not honestly going to believe this crap Clarke, do you really think your own mother would do something like this? He’s probably only trying to cover up his mistakes.” I could understand Raven’s anger; the sting of betrayal from the person we loved the most is impossibly painful, to find found out that Bellamy never cheated and still loved me was a dream come true, but for Raven who doubted everybody she met because of Finn and how he had treated her, she couldn’t believe this to be true.

 

“I do, my mother is … she changed a lot when she lost my father, controlling me and my future gives her purpose, a sense of accomplishment. I don’t doubt that she is capable of meddling in my life to get her way.”

 

“Still this all seems very improbable.”

“Raven can you give us a minute.”

 

“Clarke really, I think you need me to make sure you don’t do anything rash.”

 

“I think she’s old enough to make her own decisions.”

 

“Nobody asked you pretty boy, as far as I’m concerned theirs still a very strong chance that I’ll break your legs before the day is done.” Bellamy backed up a little at Raven’s words, she might be small but she knew how to pack a punch and Bellamy clearly was smart enough to realize it, but I could see he really wanted to be able to speak to me alone.

 

“Please Raven.”

 

“I’ll be right outside ok.” She took her time gathering her things before making her way to the door; I think she was being extra slow just to piss Bellamy off. I didn’t intervene because it was giving me the extra time I needed to gather my thoughts together. I needed to make sure I said this right so Bellamy understood.

 

“Clarke I…”

 

“No now it’s my turn.” I took a deep breath and then let my feelings come out.

 

“You’ve hurt me Bell, I understand there were circumstances that made you feel like you had no other choice, but you did. Did you think I would have let anything happen to Octavia, to your mother, the three of you were my family when my mother was nowhere to be seen.”

 

“I know I screwed up and left you to deal with this pregnancy on our own, I promise it will never happen again. Just please Clarke give me another chance to prove you my worth.”

 

“That’s the thing Bell to me you were always worthy, you didn’t need to prove anything or become a different person. I loved you just as you were.” Bellamy’s face fell, he had been putting on a brave front since he had arrived, but something I said finally made him crack.

 

“Loved? I understand, I won’t push you to be with me if you’ve already moved on, but I promise I will be there for our child.” He thought I didn’t love him anymore, how could he be so foolish of course I still loved him, even after he broke it my heart still belonged to him. However, regardless of my feelings Raven was right I needed to be cautious. Not that I didn’t believe that Bellamy loved me, but he needed to believe in himself before I could give us a second chance.

 

“I didn’t say that.” The smile that took over Bellamy’s face made it difficult for me not to just go and run to him. “Of course I still love you Bell, but if we’re ever going to make it things need to be different, we need to get to know each other again. We can’t jump into this as if nothing has happened.”

 

Bellamy kept nodding along, probably happy that we still had a chance, making the next part a little difficult to say out loud.

 

“I need you to go back to school and finish your semester.”

 

“What?! No Clarke you need me here with you, even if it’s just as the father of our child. I am NOT leaving you again.” The shock was evident on his face, but I knew this is what we needed.

 

“Bell you need time to process this and decide if this is what you really want. I’ve already gone through that, I’ve made my decision, and this baby is my whole life now. I need you to be sure this is what you want.”

 

“Clarke I don’t need time, I know, I’ve always known the only person that can keep me in line is you, you’re everything to me. Life without you was unbearable and I will love this baby just as much.”

 

“Bell please, you can’t just leave everything behind and move here, what about you’re mother?”

 

“She’ll understand, it’s not like I’ve been around much these past months.” Guilt was obvious on his face, making me realize that even if he knew the truth behind his actions the repercussions for him where as devastating as they were for me.

 

“And school? What are you going to do? I won’t be responsible for you dropping out? My mother said you weren’t good enough well prove her wrong. Just finish out the semester and then ask for a transfer, it’s not forever, but it will give us some time to learn to be with each other again.”

 

He continued to argue with me, but I wasn’t budging. We were going to have to take our time for this to work, I would need to trust him again, despite his explanations he still lied and its not something I could get over right away.

 

“Bell it’s not just you, I want to deal with my mother as well, so when you finally move out there won’t be anything keeping us apart.”

 

“If this is what you want I guess I can go back for the end of the year, but be warned miss Griffin nothing, and I mean nothing in the world will keep me from coming back to you.

 

“I don’t have any doubts on that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys for the delay and the short chapter, I haven’t had anytime to write so I decided to do mini chapters instead. Please leave a review! And thank you for continuing to follow this story.


	13. Mommie dearest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the long wait for this new chapter, I have been really busy. I am now married yay! and have moved into my new house with my husband. Things have settled down so I should be having more time to finish up this story, we're almost at the end. Hope you enjoy this long awaited chapter.

 

Allowing Bellamy to walk out of my apartment was heart wrenching, his eyes were determined but I could tell that part of him felt defeated by my words. I knew he wanted to stay and start making amends for his decisions, but I was grateful he agreed to go back home while I sorted out this mess.

I needed to deal with my mother once and for all; it was time I came out of hiding and told her face to face what I had been holding in for years. Now that I was an adult there was nothing she could do to control me.

I was expecting my friends to come back in as soon as Bellamy closed the door behind him, so I was surprised when instead I saw Miller hesitating at the door before finally making his way inside. 

“Hey Clarke.”

“Miller, I'm so happy you came along with Bellamy! With everything happening he needs a good friend to stand by his side." When Bellamy had showed up earlier I hadn't been at all surprised to find Miller standing by his side.  He has always been the best out of all his friends.

"I actually had ulterior motives for coming with him to find you.” In all the time I had known Miller I had never seen him looking so nervous, something was clearly troubling him and I wasn't sure I could deal with more revelations. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I knew what Bellamy was going to do.”

 "What? What do you mean you knew?”

“Well I didn't know exactly what he was planning, but I knew he was going to do something drastic. When your mother confronted him Bellamy came to me for advice on what to do. And I swear Clarke I tried to make him see that if he told you the truth you would surly be able to work something out together. But he was so worried for his family that he wasn’t in his right mind.” Guilt, Miller was acting nervous because he felt guilty for what had happened to us. I could have been angry at him for not telling me anything, but I was done with all the negative feelings. What was done was done, there was no longer any need to live in the past. 

“Miller none of this is your fault.”

“You were my friend too Clarke and I stood by and watched you get hurt, if I had told you about your mom's involvement before Bellamy pushed you away everything would have turned out differently."

"Nathan"

"I know I can't change the past, but I just wanted to apologies. I don’t know what you’re planning to do in regards to Bellamy, but he loves you so much and the past couple of months have been extremely difficult for him. Not that I want to make excuses for him, but just keep that in mind while you make your decision.” My mother had destroyed too many lives, not only had she cause pain to Bellamy and I, but my friends had also been forced to live with the weight of the decisions that came from our actions. I couldn’t imagine how Octavia would react if she found out the whole truth. 

“I don’t know how I would have acted if I had been placed in the same position as you, you stood by your friend no matter what and part of me really respects that. Don’t worry we’ll work it out somehow.” He seemed relieved to see that I hadn't completely turned down Bellamy.  

“By the way congratulations, being pregnant really suits you. This might not make you feel any better, but when Bellamy found out Murphy was the reason he never got your letter he beat the crap out of him.”

“I would have loved to see that, Murphy’s always had it in for me, I just didn’t think he was evil enough to cause his own friend pain.”

“I don’t think it matters to Murphy who he hurts as long as he comes out on top.”

“Can you keep Bell out of trouble, I’m afraid of what he might do if he bumps into Murphy when he gets back.”

“I’ll to my best.” Miller gave me a salute as if he was answering his commanding officer before saying goodbye and letting my friends back in.

 

Octavia was still very agitated, she wanted to know the truth behind everything that had happened. I wasn’t sure how to explain it without having her find out that Bellamy's decision had come about from a desire to protect her. 

“Bell won’t say anything, why are you keeping me in the dark.”

“O, please it was just a misunderstanding, I thought Bell had cheated and it turns out he didn’t.”

“That can’t be it, you’re not the type of person to run away before getting to the bottom of things.”

“You’d be surprised what kind of stupid things people do when their hurt. O, I never would have gotten to the bottom of this if you hadn’t found me, thank you.”

“You’re welcome Clarke, we’re friends now and forever you know that.”

“Of course, you were my first and most precious friend. However, you should probably get going, Lincoln's going to start worrying.”

“You’ve already sent Bellamy away, are you trying to get all the Blake’s out of your life again.” Octavia was trying to pass it off as a bad joke, but I could tell she was truly worried.

“Of course not O, but you guys have lives to get back to and my life is here. This isn’t goodbye I promise, plus if you decide on attending a school here we’ll be close again.” I was trying my best to distract her from asking more questions about me and Bell and the prospect of her moving here was all it took to get her taking about the future rather than the past. Monty, Jasper and Raven remained quiet until Octavia finally decided to leave. I could tell the boys were anxious to find out what Bellamy had said and what my plans were going to be.

Raven remained suspicious as I recounted Bellamy's story, they were also very surprised by the actions my mother had taken and couldn’t believe she could do something like that. 

“He knows you and your mother don’t get along, he could have made up this extraordinary story in order to excuse his behaviour thinking you would never go to her to ask if it was true." 

“I told him when I sent him away I was going to deal with my mother once and for all, if your theory was right he would have tried to stop me from doing that. Look I know its hard for you to believe him, all you know about him is the terrible things I’ve been telling you over the last few months. But I know Bell, he was hurt by this as much as I was.” I could tell Raven was going to interrupt but I was having none of it. “I know Raven you don’t have to say it, this was his decision and regardless of his reasons he hurt me. But that doesn't change the fact that my own mother put him in an impossible situation. Could you say you wouldn’t do the same thing to protect the people you love, if you didn’t think there was another way out."

I could see how much she hated to admit it, but I was right. She was slowly changing her opinion on Bellamy, and hopefully one day they would be able to be friends.

“So what’s going to happen now? Are you going to go back?” Jasper was trying to be brave for me, but I could tell he was bothered by the idea that I might leave the city. 

“This is my home now, I’m staying here no matter what.” I knew Bell would move out here to be with me and his unborn child, I wanted nothing more to do with my mother, and there was a good chance Octavia would move out here, even without these reasons there was nothing that would make me want to leave my new friends. They were there for me when I had needed them the most, I wasn’t going to dump them just because I was getting Bell and Octavia back.

“We would understand if you decided that it was best for you.”

“It’s not, you guys are my family now, I don’t know where I would be without the three of you.”

“Ah Clarke, we love you too. Come on everybody group hug.” Monty quickly got up joining us. 

“Come on Raven, you too.”

“You guys are way too sentimental.” Raven tried to keep her thought front but I saw the glint in her eyes when she joined us on the couch. She was just as happy as I was to have people she knew she could count on.

-:- 

I was truly grateful to the three of them as I stood in front of my childhood home trying to gather enough courage to go confront my mother.

“Do you need us to come in with you?”

“No I need to do this on my own.” After a few more minutes of pacing back and forth I was standing at the door hoping I would be strong enough to deal with whatever came next. 

I rang the doorbell and waited; nerves were slowly starting to take over. I knew I had to remain strong and finally confront her, but she was still my mother no matter what she had done this was going to be incredibly difficult. 

“Clarke!” The shock was obvious on her face, she seemed much older than the last time I had seen her, her normally neatly placed hair was all over the place and she looked incredibly sleep deprived. 

“Hello mother.” She reached out to try and hug me, but I avoided her. 

“I can’t believe you’re really here, I’ve missed you so much Clarke.”

“This isn’t a social call mother, I’ve come for some of my things and to clear a few things up.”

“Clarke sweetie, you've been gone for months is that all you have to say to me. What happened to you, are you ok?" She took a step back and looked me over, it was easy to tell the exact moment that her eyes fell on my stomach. "Oh my god you’re pregnant.” My bump was so obvious now; I couldn’t have hidden it from her even if I had wanted to. “Is this why you’ve come back, you got yourself knocked up and now you need my help?"

I had to stop myself from laughing in disbelief, she had gone from a worried mother to judging me as soon as she saw my belly. She hadn’t changed at all.

“I didn’t come for your help, I actually don’t need anything from you anymore, I’ve found my place in life.”

“Clarke you’ve really thrown your life away this time, becoming a mother at your age.”

“Is that all you’re worried about, don’t you want to know who the father is, do you even care where I’ve been living these past few months.”

“Of course I care, I’ve been worried sick for you ever since…”

“Ever since you pushed Bellamy to break my heart so that I would start listening to you again.” Her face paled, she wasn't at all expecting me to know the truth.

“I was doing it for you.”

“Let’s be clear everything you’ve done was for you, you've never once thought about my feelings. But I’m over it now, you can stop caring for me now and go on with your life, this will be the last time you see me. We’re done.”

“Clarke you can’t be serious, we can’t be done we’re family, no matter what you say or do you’re always going to be mine.”

“Your right you're always going to be my mother, I can't change that, but you are done playing a role in my life and you will never set your eyes on my child." I had initially wanted to get some of my things that I had left behind when I ran away, but now I realized that it didn’t matter I was done with my mother and done with this place I didn’t want to stay here a second more.

I was walking away when my mother grabbed hold of me.

“Clarke you might not see it my way, but for me I was trying to stop you from making the very mistake you are making right now. See where you ended up without me.”

“Oh dearest mother what you still haven’t figure out is that this child you want to dismiss as a mistake his actually Bellamy’s child, you caused him to leave me and spend the last five months thinking he didn’t love me, how can you cause your child so much pain and still act like you were right. You’re never going to change and I don’t want to remain here and have to deal with it. We are DONE.”

“Clarke, Clarke, come back, right now!” I ran for the car, and Monty like the proper get away driver that he was had me out of there in mere seconds.  

I was fine while confronting her, but as soon as I took my seat in the car tears started to fall down. I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn’t stop myself; darn hormones making my emotions go all over the place.

I was hugging my knees to my body trying to calm myself, Raven and Jasper were trying to comfort me but nothing was working. I was vaguely aware that Raven was calling someone on her cell phone, but what she was saying was lost on me. I didn't know where we were going or how long he had been driving around. It wasn’t until the car slowed and I saw Bellamy standing in front of his apartment building that I put the pieces together. The shock of dealing with my mother caused me to have a panic attack and cry out for the only person that could make me feel safe again, Bellamy.

When the car came to a complete stop I rushed out and ran to him. No questions asked, Bellamy wrapped his arms around me.

“I love you Clarke, and I will never let anything happy to you or our baby I promise.”


	14. Our best chance!

Bellamy held me in his arms until I feel asleep, his mother and sister had both wanted to question us as we walked into the apartment, but Bellamy had waved them away. I was sure all three of them were worried about me, but I was glad Bellamy was keeping them away for now I was so exhausted emotionally I didn’t think I would have been able to deal with answering questions. 

I had forgotten how comforting it was to sleep in Bellamy’s arms; waking up next to him was something I never thought I would get to experience again. I knew it would take time for us to move pass everything that had happened, and we probably would never go back to the same people we were when we first meet, but that wasn’t necessary a bad thing. The last couple of months had transformed both of us into different people, but our feelings for each other remained we just had to get to know each other again. 

Miller had mentioned how difficult it had been for Bellamy ever since I had disappeared, when I saw him last time I hadn’t noticed the change, but looking at him now it was obvious he had lost weight and the bags under his eyes showed he hadn’t been sleeping very well. As I looked over ever part of his body I didn’t notice he had woken up and was analyzing me too.

“Princess.” It was only a whisper, but it was clear by the emotion in his voice that he was incredibly happy that I was here with him. “I hope you don’t mind I had to put you in my room, I know you asked for time…” This was hard for him, I knew deep down we would eventually find our way back to each other, but for him all he had was uncertainty. I needed him to know, now more than ever, just exactly how I was feeling. 

“Bell, I missed you so much.” The smile that overtook his face at my words was breathtaking. We had been talking on the phone a lot since he found me; he wanted to be caught up on everything he had missed, especially the stuff that concerned the baby. Having him back in my life, but him being so far away had made the aching I felt for him increase tenfold. I hadn’t said anything to Bellamy, because I knew as soon as the words left my mouth he would be on the next plane forgetting about school and his family. 

‘Those are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard, does this mean we still have a chance?” The worry was clear on his face, I had been slowly opening up to him over the past few weeks, but I could tell he was afraid of getting his hopes up to only get them crushed. 

“It was always you Bell, I only pushed you away because I wanted to give us both time to adjust to the situation in order to give us our best chance when we do decide to be together again.”

“But we are going to be together again?”

“I’m pretty sure we already are.” That statement was all it took for his worries to wash away and kiss me. The kiss was a little bit sloppy at first; both of us being so overwhelmed, but as our hearts settled so did our kiss. The desperation from being apart for so long turn into a slow and passionate kiss. Bellamy pulled away far too soon for my liking, but he didn’t go very far resting his forehead against mine.

“I never thought I would get to do that again. I will never let you go again I promise.” I could see the determination in Bellamy’s eyes, but our renewed romance didn’t mean I wanted him to jeopardize his schooling; my reasons for sending him back home to finish his semester didn’t suddenly disappeared because my resolve to wait had. We were midway through the month of November, he only had a few more weeks to go, however I wasn’t sure how to convince him to stay. 

“Bell, I know how much you want to be with me and don’t get me wrong there is nothing more in the entire world that I would like, but…”

“But you still want me to stay and finish out my semester. It’s ok Clarke I understand, and as much as I want to be there for you right now, if I hope to be able to provide for you and the little one in the future I need to graduate. I’ve already asked for a transfer to a university near your apartment and have started to look for a place to live.” I raised an eyebrow at that comment, which he immediately picked up on.

“Don’t give me that look, you can’t have expected me to assume I would be moving in after the way we left things off. I want to be as close to you as possible, but I will give you as much time and space as you need.”

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot have you?”

“Ever since I left your apartment last month, I’ve also opened up an account for you for anything you might need.”

“Bell you don’t need to do that, I’m financially stable.”

“Maybe, but this is my baby too, if it makes you feel better you can use that money only for baby stuff, but Clarke you are going to use it. If you truly believe I am worthy of you like you’ve said before you are going to let me take care of you and our baby.” His comment took me by surprise I knew that the fact I had money had always been a difficult issue between Bellamy and I, but for the first time I was realizing how big of a factor I might have played in making him feel like he didn’t deserve me. Not that I had ever done anything to purposely hurt him, but my nonchalant attitude towards money when for him it was a daily concern might have been a constant reminder for him of our different status. 

“Ok, I promise I will make sure to get only the best for our baby.” 

Now that the heavy stuff was out of the way, we were both content to stay in each other’s arms, I eventually feel asleep again and was woken up a few hours later by someone knocking at Bellamy’s bedroom door. 

“Clarke, Bellamy? We don’t want to disturbed you, but can you guys give us a sign that everything is ok in there.” In our happiness we had totally forgotten about where we were and how worried Octavia and his mom must be. 

“We’re good O, we’re coming out soon.”

“What must they been thinking, oh my god does your mother even know that I’m pregnant.” I could feel a full on freak out coming on when Bellamy wrapped his arms around me.

“Calm down princess, everything is going to be ok, you have nothing to be worried or ashamed of. I told my mom about the pregnancy and that I was the father, I also told her about the letter you sent and that you had always wanted to tell me about the baby.”

“How did you explain my disappearance?” Bellamy looked down in shame, not meeting my eyes. 

“I told them the truth.” I was surprised he had been insistent last time that we had to protect them from the truth. “I didn’t want to trust me, not only because I am so ashamed of how I acted but they weren’t buying the lie I was trying to spin. Octavia was already doubtful of whatever explanation you had given her.

“I didn’t say much.”

“Which is probably what got her convinced that there was more to the story, since both of us were being so evasive. Once I came home and told my mother about the baby she also started asking questions and I eventually got caught up in my lies.”

I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t imagine what Octavia and Aurora must be thinking of my mother and me by extension, getting involved with me had made Bellamy suffer so much, how could they possibility still look at me without thinking of her horrible actions.

“Clarke whatever you’re worrying about don’t, they don’t blame you for any of this. I can’t say the same about your mother, or me for that matter. My mother was furious with me for the way I acted and felt I deserved every bit of heartbreak I suffered. Octavia also couldn’t believe it, and felt partly responsible. Which is why she hasn’t been in contact with you since she came back, she doesn’t know how to face you.”

Would the repercussions of my mother’s actions ever stop, would the people I cared about ever be free from her involvement? 

“Clarke, I made a terrible mistake and it has affected every single person I care about.” I was about to interrupt him and push the blame back onto my mother where it belonged, but Bellamy never gave me the chance. “Don’t Clarke I know you blame your mother more than you blame me, but for me she might have been the source of the situation but I’m the one that inflicted this pain on all of you. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, to all of you.”

If we keep on looking to the past we would never been done with this suffering, in order to move forward I needed to let go of this, and that included the anger I felt towards my mother. 

“You already have, being with me now and seeing a future with you is more than I could ever ask for. As for the relationship with your family we will rebuild it, together. 

When we finally emerged from his bedroom, his mother and sister were waiting impatiently for us at the kitchen table with food ready. I was very gratefully; I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until all this food was in front of me. We ate in silence, until in true Octavia fashion she blurted out the question on everybody’s mind.”

“What the hell happened last night?” Now that I though about it Bellamy never asked me about what had brought me to his doorstep in tears, Raven had probably filled him in when she dropped me off. 

I didn’t want to go into too much detail, but they needed to know that my mother would no longer be able to hurt us.

“I went to see my mother and confronted her about well you know. She won’t be a problem ever again, I told her she would no longer play a part in my life, in our lives.” I grabbed Bellamy’s hand under the table. “I’m sorry for everything she’s done, the hurt she’s caused this family, but she won’t ever get the opportunity to do the same this this child, I won’t let her.” 

“Oh Clarke.” Aurora leaned over the table to wrap her arms around me. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. To have your own mother do this to you.” It was obvious she was holding back her tears trying to be strong. “You know what let’s just forget about the whole thing, we have more important things to occupy ourselves with, so is it a boy or a girl? As the future grand-mother I am dying to go buy some baby clothes for him or her.” Just like that Bellamy’s mom broke the tension in the room and made me feel welcome in their little family for the second time. 

-:-

I eventually had to go back home, leaving Bellamy was unbearable this time, but he promised to come for me as soon as he was done writing is last exam. Aurora and Octavia also came to see me off at the airport, promising to come over for the holidays. As sad as I was to be separated from them, the idea of having them back in my life made it somewhat bearable. 

When Bellamy finally moved to Chicago, he moved into an apartment two blocks from mine, we were still taking things slow despite knowing that we still loved each other. But once it became clear that I was spending more time at his place then mine, we eventually just decided to take the plunge and move in together. When Christmas came around we had a full house, with Aurora, Octavia and Lincoln staying over. Seeing my friends and Bellamy’s family interact together and speak adoringly about my unborn child filled my heart with so much joy that I thought my heart would burst with happiness. 

Two weeks after that my water broke as Bellamy was trying to build the baby crib. He was in such a frenzy that I ended up calling Monty to drive us to the hospital. After 17 hours of labour we were the proud parents of a little boy. The first night we brought our little bundle of joy home, we spend the entire night watching over him as we held each other in our arms. We were far from perfect, but somehow we were managing to make this work and most importantly we were both happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is the last chapter, I’m very happy with how it turned out, but I’m considering maybe adding an epilogue to take a look at them 5 years in the future. Let me know if this is something that would interest you. I’m too busy to start writing a new story, I’ve hated not being able to post this faster, but if any of you have any prompts for a one-shot please let me know, I might get inspired. 
> 
> Thank you to all of you who have been following this story and have left comments, I hope you enjoyed the ending and that it wasn’t a let down after waiting all this time.


End file.
